sore... still sore... she thought after the lengthy sleeping hours the sore would go away but it doesn't... yup! she is an absolute loser... a human being who was born with loads of flaws and stupidity... because of that flaws... she doesn't think she can be a good leader anymore... because of that stupidity... she can't lead the others and she can't lead her life towards the betterment... because of that flaws... she nearly killed some souls... because of that stupidity... she was intimidated... she won't blame people around her for that flaws and stupidity... it is distasteful to point fingers... it is demoralised to invoke people's anger... so, everything is because of hers, herself and she... the moron who is spending her entire living life to find some roots and barks... to plant herself firmly onto the ground... unshaken by the growling wind... bad and bad and bad she is... unable to measure between her own self interest and the others'... unable to make her own decision... unable to be more sensitive towards her own needs... selfish vs. selfless... yeah! enough of selfless she said but obviously that is her nature... how to become a selfish bitch she asked... she is still wondering and pondering... endlessly... one ultimate conclusion that she is able to draw is... she is a definite complete mighty loser and a total idiot...

a week in kuala lumpur was indeed tiring... to being in other people's houses or hostel is not the same as to being in my own house, my own bed and even my own rental house in penang... sleep has become a never ending enemy... even the battle within has become stronger... shall I sigh? perhaps i shall because tomorrow i'll have to go up again... :|