offline at 3.53 in the morning... Monday 06/01/03

sleep perchance dreams? it is more like sleep perchance sweats... :|

it is really annoying when a supposed to be restful slumber turns into a panic stricken insomnia... i just can't sleep though the whole day was spent in a hectic social errand... sleep is not a luxury for me... i closed my eyes and ugly images appeared... i saw the dreaded future... the supervisor's face... the yet to be finished thesis... the faces of family members frowning... the faces of sahabat turning back and walking away... the face of a loser... the noble face of my guru... the bleak premonition of the future... the constant banging in my head... the pain in the neck resulted from bowing infront of those books 24/7 non-stop... the empty pockets... the bank and the debts... the foolish brother's mambo jambo at home... lonely life in the island... suffocating life at home... restless life in the central... mr. arman's face... those people in uniten... myself 20 years from tonight... wow! everything is like a slideshow... flashing the soul less images in random one by one... sometimes two at one time... alternating between rapid and slow flash movements... making this mind goes haywired and just like the domino effect it continues its progression to the eyes... these humanly shutters are wide opened without any might to close themselves... bam! bam! bam! goes the slideshow... making humongous bang as it changes from one slide to another... argghhhh!!! what a nauseating night!