alhamdulillah... my humble gratitude to Allah the Almighty... yup! Ramadhan nights are indeed different from the other nights... malam ini memang mendamaikan jiwa... angin bertiup lembut... sejuk dan nyaman... mmmm... enaknya...
hari ini siti masak lauk-pauk berbuka... perrghhh... mencaka tobing... masak lomak cili api udang galah... daging masak oriental (dimasak dengan minyak bijan dan gajus gitu)... kerang goreng black pepper (goreng ngan kulit-kulit tuh... first time aku makan stail macam ni) dan juga kailan ikan masin... perghhh... kemudian ada pisang mas dibawa belayar dan juga honey dewey... besh... besh... makasih la siti and hubby for the treat... meh i doa' panjang sket untuk you all... hehehe...
anyway... malam ni aku sibuk dok ngemas dan basuh baju... yea... yea... esok balik kampung yea... esok balik kampung yea... hahaha... gempaknya semacam... walhal baru last week balik selatan... kekeke... tapi esok aku transit dulu umah opah... senin transit kl... selasa baru balik melaka... brapa banyak transit daaa... hehehe... memang tandus aaa aku bulan posa tahun ni... tahun lepas abis tujuh ratus inggit kat bil tepon... tahun ni abis kat samy vellu... hahahaha... takpe... janji aku puas hati dan happy...
wokkeh! nak sambung ngemas... lama dah tak kemas bilik ni... berdebu serata alam... tuh yang payah umah tepi jalan ni... bila bukak tingkap sket mesti berlumba-lumba debu-debu kotaraya menerjah masuk... wokkehs! adios amigos!
Saturday, November 30, 2002
alhamdulillah... akhirnya... berjaya jugak aku meletakkan flash yang first time aku buat kat dalam blog nih... basic flash jek nih... hehehe... cinoning gak kepala aku sepanjang malam... hehehe... besh... besh... cabaran begini la yang besh gaban... benda baru... amacam sifu... not bad for a novice huh!? hahaha... mata tak ngantuks pulak lagi ni... nak buat apa ye? lerrr... bersahur la apa lagi... lepas subuh aku tido la... huish... pintu rejeki tertutup maaa... nak buat camno? kelawor la katakan... hehehe... teringat aku zaman berghonjeng di Muo dedulu... direct tak tido malam... pepagi ada kelas pulak tuh... students pun jadi kompius tengok lecturer masih buleh cas dan cargas... hehehe... tapi bila petang... tepat jam 4... vege lah segala-galanya... hahaha... namun... Muo tetap happening! idup Muo!
Friday, November 29, 2002
The SMS...
aku: teka teki di dinihari? manakah yang lebih penting? kekayaan atau kebahagiaan?
dia: masa berubah setiap waktu, manusia berubah setiap masa. sukar mempercayai kesetiaan dan janji manusia. apatah lagi berkaitan kebahagiaan. kekayaan mempengaruhinya.
aku: puitisnya jawapan…
dia: sorry, lambat reply. baru je on hp. biasa la mami, sekarang manusia nilai kebahagiaan dgn wang, bukan dgn budi pekerti dan keikhlasan…
aku: aku sedih la… kenapa harta dan pangkat menjadi ukuran… biar miskin asalkan bahagia…wang bukan segala-galanya…
dia: biasa la mami. perumpamaan yang sesuai bagi kes ini adalah kalau kita nak melabur, biar jamban tu besar, baru puas dan lama kekal dalam tuh !)
aku: hahaha… analogi jamban tuh… hahaha…
errrmmm... setuju dengan siapa? aku atau dia?
aku: teka teki di dinihari? manakah yang lebih penting? kekayaan atau kebahagiaan?
dia: masa berubah setiap waktu, manusia berubah setiap masa. sukar mempercayai kesetiaan dan janji manusia. apatah lagi berkaitan kebahagiaan. kekayaan mempengaruhinya.
aku: puitisnya jawapan…
dia: sorry, lambat reply. baru je on hp. biasa la mami, sekarang manusia nilai kebahagiaan dgn wang, bukan dgn budi pekerti dan keikhlasan…
aku: aku sedih la… kenapa harta dan pangkat menjadi ukuran… biar miskin asalkan bahagia…wang bukan segala-galanya…
dia: biasa la mami. perumpamaan yang sesuai bagi kes ini adalah kalau kita nak melabur, biar jamban tu besar, baru puas dan lama kekal dalam tuh !)
aku: hahaha… analogi jamban tuh… hahaha…
errrmmm... setuju dengan siapa? aku atau dia?
ada orang hidupnya bahagia walaupun rezeki hariannya umpama kais pagi makan pagi kais petang makan petang... ada orang hidupnya gembira walaupun tiada pakaian yang indah dan wang yang berkepul... ada orang senyumnya lebar walaupun penat dibakar mentari mengangkat batu bata di kawasan pembinaan... ada orang wajahnya tetap manis walaupun tiada pangkat dan harta...
ada orang hidupnya derita walaupun gajinya beribu dan berjuta sekalipun... ada orang hidupnya gusar walaupun disarungi kot tebal dan labuci bergemerlipan... ada orang bibirnya mencebik walaupun bekerja di bawah keenakan penghawa dingin dan disebalik meja yang luas beserta kerusi yang empuk... ada orang mukanya masam walaupun ada pangkat dan juga harta...
errrmmm... inilah yang dinamakan manusia... mempunyai berbagai corak dan ragam yang tersendiri... manusia yang dijadikan berbeza-beza di antara satu sama lain... manusia yang mempunyai perbezaan cap ibu jari, rasa, pendapat dan sebagainya... manusia subjektif... kita tidak sama... apa yang baik untuk aku tak semestinya baik untuk kau... apa yang baik untuk kau tak semestinya baik untuk aku... pandangan kita tidak serupa... citarasa kita tidak serupa... perbezaan yang membawa seribu hikmah bagi yang memahami... yang pasti... masing-masing berkehendakan yang terbaik untuk diri sendiri...
namun... ujud jua golongan manusia yang pelik... pelik dari segi maksud mereka yang tidak sama aliran pemikiran dengan masyarakat dan nilai-nilai budaya setempat... non-conformist... dare to be different... outstanding... manusia-manusia yang bakal dipulaukan oleh keluarga dan masyarakat kerana kelainan yang dipilihnya... kerana bersifat ganjil... hidup berlandaskan pegangan dan prinsip yang tersendiri... norma-norma kehidupan yang mungkin berbeza dari khalayak umum...
ada juga terdapat manusia yang tidak berkehendakan yang terbaik untuk diri sendiri... setiap keputusan dilandaskan di atas kepentingan orang lain... setiap gerak dilandaskan di atas permintaan orang lain... hasrat diri sendiri seakan terkubur di dalam memenuhi kehendak orang lain... dengan harapan orang lain itu tidak akan kecewa... dengan harapan orang lain itu akan gembira... hanya dengan harapan... seperti boneka-boneka bertali... tali digoyang boneka menari... aaahhh... peduli apa... kita hidup bermasyarakat bukan? pentingkan masyarakat dari diri sendiri... adakah itu tuntutan agama?
sepatutnya pada dinihari ini aku telah sedia mencetak helaian thesisku... aku masih kecundang... Ramadhan benar-benar telah membawa ketenangan dan kebahagiaan buat diriku... masih... aku kecundang... aku akui... segala kelemahan dan kesalahan serta kelalaian adalah di atas bahuku sendiri... jari telunjukku patah... tundingannya tiada...
what i have and i have written are merely junks... junks that have been produced from a half-hearted effort... a dragged effort... an insincere effort... the effort to make them smile and be happy with me... am i happy? is there anyone out there who really cares about what i feel? is there any? am i happy for myself?
senangkah hatiku kiranya aku duduk berjauhan dari keluargaku dan sahabat-sahabatku?
senangkah hatiku kiranya apa yang aku lakukan sentiasa tidak betul di mata penyeliaku?
senangkah hatiku kiranya suasana tempat pembelajaran amat menjelekkan mataku?
senangkah hatiku kiranya aku di sini bersendirian hidup seperti jaga di rumah ini?
senangkah hatiku kiranya kini aku tidak lagi mampu melaksanakan amanah dan tanggungjawab kepada bangsaku?
mana bisa hatiku senang... mana bisa jiwaku tenang... mana bisa fikiranku damai... it has been almost two years... a mistake?
aku cemburu... berasaskah aku untuk merasa cemburu?
aku tidak marah... aku tidak latah... cuma monolog dalaman ini begitu memualkan mindaku di dinihari yang sepi ini... perlu diluahkan... dimuntahkan dari benakku agar aku boleh menutup mataku dengan damai... di malam mulia... malam Jumaat di bulan Ramadhan... aku tahu ini semua dugaan dariNya... aku tahu aku sedang menghadapi dugaan yang amat besar di dalam hidupku... selama ini aku sememangnya tidak pandai untuk membuat keputusan... semua keputusanku adalah di atas pergantungan ke atas pendapat dan kehendak orang lain... aku sedang diduga... ada keputusan penting yang perlu aku ambil... apakah buah keputusannya? apakah yang perlu aku pakai? apakah yang tak seharusnya aku pakai? pakai tak pakai tak pakai pakai...
errrmmm... aku masih keliru rupanya...
ada orang hidupnya derita walaupun gajinya beribu dan berjuta sekalipun... ada orang hidupnya gusar walaupun disarungi kot tebal dan labuci bergemerlipan... ada orang bibirnya mencebik walaupun bekerja di bawah keenakan penghawa dingin dan disebalik meja yang luas beserta kerusi yang empuk... ada orang mukanya masam walaupun ada pangkat dan juga harta...
errrmmm... inilah yang dinamakan manusia... mempunyai berbagai corak dan ragam yang tersendiri... manusia yang dijadikan berbeza-beza di antara satu sama lain... manusia yang mempunyai perbezaan cap ibu jari, rasa, pendapat dan sebagainya... manusia subjektif... kita tidak sama... apa yang baik untuk aku tak semestinya baik untuk kau... apa yang baik untuk kau tak semestinya baik untuk aku... pandangan kita tidak serupa... citarasa kita tidak serupa... perbezaan yang membawa seribu hikmah bagi yang memahami... yang pasti... masing-masing berkehendakan yang terbaik untuk diri sendiri...
namun... ujud jua golongan manusia yang pelik... pelik dari segi maksud mereka yang tidak sama aliran pemikiran dengan masyarakat dan nilai-nilai budaya setempat... non-conformist... dare to be different... outstanding... manusia-manusia yang bakal dipulaukan oleh keluarga dan masyarakat kerana kelainan yang dipilihnya... kerana bersifat ganjil... hidup berlandaskan pegangan dan prinsip yang tersendiri... norma-norma kehidupan yang mungkin berbeza dari khalayak umum...
ada juga terdapat manusia yang tidak berkehendakan yang terbaik untuk diri sendiri... setiap keputusan dilandaskan di atas kepentingan orang lain... setiap gerak dilandaskan di atas permintaan orang lain... hasrat diri sendiri seakan terkubur di dalam memenuhi kehendak orang lain... dengan harapan orang lain itu tidak akan kecewa... dengan harapan orang lain itu akan gembira... hanya dengan harapan... seperti boneka-boneka bertali... tali digoyang boneka menari... aaahhh... peduli apa... kita hidup bermasyarakat bukan? pentingkan masyarakat dari diri sendiri... adakah itu tuntutan agama?
sepatutnya pada dinihari ini aku telah sedia mencetak helaian thesisku... aku masih kecundang... Ramadhan benar-benar telah membawa ketenangan dan kebahagiaan buat diriku... masih... aku kecundang... aku akui... segala kelemahan dan kesalahan serta kelalaian adalah di atas bahuku sendiri... jari telunjukku patah... tundingannya tiada...
what i have and i have written are merely junks... junks that have been produced from a half-hearted effort... a dragged effort... an insincere effort... the effort to make them smile and be happy with me... am i happy? is there anyone out there who really cares about what i feel? is there any? am i happy for myself?
senangkah hatiku kiranya aku duduk berjauhan dari keluargaku dan sahabat-sahabatku?
senangkah hatiku kiranya apa yang aku lakukan sentiasa tidak betul di mata penyeliaku?
senangkah hatiku kiranya suasana tempat pembelajaran amat menjelekkan mataku?
senangkah hatiku kiranya aku di sini bersendirian hidup seperti jaga di rumah ini?
senangkah hatiku kiranya kini aku tidak lagi mampu melaksanakan amanah dan tanggungjawab kepada bangsaku?
mana bisa hatiku senang... mana bisa jiwaku tenang... mana bisa fikiranku damai... it has been almost two years... a mistake?
aku cemburu... berasaskah aku untuk merasa cemburu?
aku tidak marah... aku tidak latah... cuma monolog dalaman ini begitu memualkan mindaku di dinihari yang sepi ini... perlu diluahkan... dimuntahkan dari benakku agar aku boleh menutup mataku dengan damai... di malam mulia... malam Jumaat di bulan Ramadhan... aku tahu ini semua dugaan dariNya... aku tahu aku sedang menghadapi dugaan yang amat besar di dalam hidupku... selama ini aku sememangnya tidak pandai untuk membuat keputusan... semua keputusanku adalah di atas pergantungan ke atas pendapat dan kehendak orang lain... aku sedang diduga... ada keputusan penting yang perlu aku ambil... apakah buah keputusannya? apakah yang perlu aku pakai? apakah yang tak seharusnya aku pakai? pakai tak pakai tak pakai pakai...
errrmmm... aku masih keliru rupanya...
Thursday, November 28, 2002
bumped into this while i was searching for online materials... funny huh?!
Subject: For everybody who loves the English language
WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN!!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
Only in English can your nose run, and your feet smell.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? And is it freachers who are fraught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes, I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. What other reason could there be for saying that people recite at a play and play at a recital? Or, ship cargo by truck and send cargo by ship? Or have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Or, met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
People, not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. Hmmmmmmm?
Source: Funny Page
muakakaka... kelako kan?
Subject: For everybody who loves the English language
WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN!!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
Only in English can your nose run, and your feet smell.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? And is it freachers who are fraught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes, I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. What other reason could there be for saying that people recite at a play and play at a recital? Or, ship cargo by truck and send cargo by ship? Or have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Or, met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
People, not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. Hmmmmmmm?
Source: Funny Page
muakakaka... kelako kan?
Allah's object also is to purge those that are true in Faith and to deprive of blessing those that resist Faith. (Ali 'Imran: 141)
Note: the purge or purification was in two senses: (1) It cleared out the Hypocrites from the ranks of the Muslim warriors. (2) The testing-time strengthened the faith of the weak and wavering: for suffering has its own mission in life. The Prophet for example - wounded but staunch, and firmer than ever - put new life into the Community.
suddenly i remember the crisis...
Note: the purge or purification was in two senses: (1) It cleared out the Hypocrites from the ranks of the Muslim warriors. (2) The testing-time strengthened the faith of the weak and wavering: for suffering has its own mission in life. The Prophet for example - wounded but staunch, and firmer than ever - put new life into the Community.
suddenly i remember the crisis...
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
aku pasrah... apa nak jadi... jadi la... maleh... maleh...
oleh sebab itu aku telah membuat satu keputusan yang tegas!
JOM PIZZA! nih tengah tunggu pizza sampai la ni... hehehe... mari kita torture diri dengan xxxtra cheese... self inflicted pain... gruesome huh?
yakkety yakkety yey!!!
selamat berbuka!
oleh sebab itu aku telah membuat satu keputusan yang tegas!
JOM PIZZA! nih tengah tunggu pizza sampai la ni... hehehe... mari kita torture diri dengan xxxtra cheese... self inflicted pain... gruesome huh?
yakkety yakkety yey!!!
selamat berbuka!
Batlady is backkkk! Huargghh! Makan budookk!
tadi aku berbuka di hotel vistana dengan siti. okay la... typical hotel buffet meal... makan free... best... best... hehehe... tapi aku takmo citer pasal makan... meh aku citer pasal kejadian siang tadi... siang tadi ada beberapa orang (melayu) datang pasang awning kat dapur. amazingly... aku pun heran banyak la jugak... ada ke patut ada seorang mamat tu dengan tak malunya minta air sejuk kat aku... huishhh... terperanjat gilos aku dibuatnya... patut la aku asyik terbau asap rokok ajek kat ruang tamu tuh... cehh... kalau dah tau tak posa bawak la air sendiri kot ya pun... nih mintak kat aku la pulak... even ah tan plumber tuh pun tak mintak air kat aku... siap mintak izin lagi nak minum kat dalam umah aku ni... tuh cina tuh... ada adab, segan dan malu... ini melayu gitu... anytapi aku bagi la jugak airnya... tuh pun dengan rasa guilty gila sebab aku ni dah dikira sebagai subahat la kan... nasib baik aku sempat bagi sedas kat mamat tu... kurang sikit rasa guilty tuh... sambil aku hulur air masak sejug aku cakap "lerr... tak posa ke? nah amik la air ni... kosong aje... bulan posa la katakan..." mamat tuh sesengih la pulak... tapi itu la... kuasa Tuhan itu tidak boleh dipersoalkan... bila diaorang dah balik aku tengok air tuh tak luak banyak pun... lerrr... subhanallah... rerupanya ada ramai semut buat skinny dip kat dalam jug tuh... aku memang tak perasan... bila masa pulak semut berduyun-duyun terjun ke dalam air tuh? kat meja tuh mana ada semut naik... aku dah taruh kapur semut dah... kesian diaorang tak dapat minum air... salah aku ke?
beginilah ragam manusia... mereka bernasib baik sebab aku tak melatah... kalau idak harus nahas mamat-mamat tuh kena blasah ngan aku... hehehe... disebabkan aku ni pendamai orangnya... "maafkan kawan saya bang"... hehehe... aku ikut ajek flow... tapi Tuhan tuh Maha segala-galanya... Dia tahu... aku bukan nak mengata atau mengumpat... tetapi kisah sebegini harus kita jadikan sempadan... buruk rupanya kalau dah tua-tua masih tidak berpuasa... buruk banyak... kesimpulannya... jati diri kita hendaklah kuat di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ni... nafsu perlu dikekang... adab di bulan Ramadhan perlu dijaga... mungkin mereka ada sebab yang kukuh untuk tidak berpuasa tetapi kenalah hormat bulan yang mulia ini dan juga orang lain yang berpuasa... sekiranya aku sedara-mara mungkin lain corak ceritanya... but I am a total stranger to them... astaghafirullah al-a'dzhim... banyak lagi cerita tak besh tentang welder-welder ni... tapi tak apa... biarlah aku simpan untuk dijadikan iktibar buat kehidupan di hari muka... semoga Allah tetapkan aku di dalam agamaku dan tingkatkan ketakwaan ku... wallahua'lam...
tadi aku berbuka di hotel vistana dengan siti. okay la... typical hotel buffet meal... makan free... best... best... hehehe... tapi aku takmo citer pasal makan... meh aku citer pasal kejadian siang tadi... siang tadi ada beberapa orang (melayu) datang pasang awning kat dapur. amazingly... aku pun heran banyak la jugak... ada ke patut ada seorang mamat tu dengan tak malunya minta air sejuk kat aku... huishhh... terperanjat gilos aku dibuatnya... patut la aku asyik terbau asap rokok ajek kat ruang tamu tuh... cehh... kalau dah tau tak posa bawak la air sendiri kot ya pun... nih mintak kat aku la pulak... even ah tan plumber tuh pun tak mintak air kat aku... siap mintak izin lagi nak minum kat dalam umah aku ni... tuh cina tuh... ada adab, segan dan malu... ini melayu gitu... anytapi aku bagi la jugak airnya... tuh pun dengan rasa guilty gila sebab aku ni dah dikira sebagai subahat la kan... nasib baik aku sempat bagi sedas kat mamat tu... kurang sikit rasa guilty tuh... sambil aku hulur air masak sejug aku cakap "lerr... tak posa ke? nah amik la air ni... kosong aje... bulan posa la katakan..." mamat tuh sesengih la pulak... tapi itu la... kuasa Tuhan itu tidak boleh dipersoalkan... bila diaorang dah balik aku tengok air tuh tak luak banyak pun... lerrr... subhanallah... rerupanya ada ramai semut buat skinny dip kat dalam jug tuh... aku memang tak perasan... bila masa pulak semut berduyun-duyun terjun ke dalam air tuh? kat meja tuh mana ada semut naik... aku dah taruh kapur semut dah... kesian diaorang tak dapat minum air... salah aku ke?
beginilah ragam manusia... mereka bernasib baik sebab aku tak melatah... kalau idak harus nahas mamat-mamat tuh kena blasah ngan aku... hehehe... disebabkan aku ni pendamai orangnya... "maafkan kawan saya bang"... hehehe... aku ikut ajek flow... tapi Tuhan tuh Maha segala-galanya... Dia tahu... aku bukan nak mengata atau mengumpat... tetapi kisah sebegini harus kita jadikan sempadan... buruk rupanya kalau dah tua-tua masih tidak berpuasa... buruk banyak... kesimpulannya... jati diri kita hendaklah kuat di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ni... nafsu perlu dikekang... adab di bulan Ramadhan perlu dijaga... mungkin mereka ada sebab yang kukuh untuk tidak berpuasa tetapi kenalah hormat bulan yang mulia ini dan juga orang lain yang berpuasa... sekiranya aku sedara-mara mungkin lain corak ceritanya... but I am a total stranger to them... astaghafirullah al-a'dzhim... banyak lagi cerita tak besh tentang welder-welder ni... tapi tak apa... biarlah aku simpan untuk dijadikan iktibar buat kehidupan di hari muka... semoga Allah tetapkan aku di dalam agamaku dan tingkatkan ketakwaan ku... wallahua'lam...
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
The ten remaining days of Ramadhan...
Begitu pantas masa berlalu. Tanpa disedari kita sudah berpuasa selama dua puluh hari. Pagi ini adalah pagi yang ke-21. Sayu dan sedih perasaan di hati ini...
The whole day was spent in the likeliness of infinite eternity yet time swiftly flew infront of my eyes. For the 'blinds' and those who choose not to see... Ramadhan might be considered as a mere stepping stone for the upcoming fiesta. A fiesta in which songs are sung, dresses and fashions are flashed around, foods are probably wasted, money is 'hijacked'... the bottomless merriment without a minute thought for the poor and needy... the bottomless merriment without the realisation and reflection of the true meaning of Ramadhan and Syawal... However, for those who possess the visions... the visions from the eyes and the soul... those who are showered by lights and blessings... those who think and reflect... Ramadhan and Syawal are indeed special months... spiritually... the months where their arrival is anxiously anticipated... the months that can leave a pool of tears when they depart for the lunar cycle to continue its circle... It is the observation on these differences that triggers me to think... in which category am I? Who am I? A Muslim and a Mu'min? Or... just a Muslim?
Though it is not raining during this early twilight hours, the night is cool indeed. The night sky seeps into me the essence of tranquility and peace. No stars and no moon can be seen from the vacinity of my present location. The sound of the spinning fan echoes the night. The sound of some cars passing by the road below seems like a bass to mine ears. Everything is so right. Everything...
Actually, I've just come back from the invisible time tunnel... the unseen journey into the fantasy world has made my spirit wanders and smiles in amusement. It was the third day of the show... The 10th. Kingdom... Now, I'm sitting at my desk typing my thoughts with a wide opened window inhaling the scents of night. A bit perplexed with my surroundings and perhaps with life itself... I should retire to bed early tonite... my tonsilitis is really aching... I've had enough sobbing in the afternoon... hahaha... a round applause for the Indon movie and Yo Soy Betty la Fea... sungguh tak machess aku ni... hmmm... better logout for now... it is the time... the time to be one with myself... to be one with my thoughts and feelings... and to be one with this wonderful calm night... arios!
Begitu pantas masa berlalu. Tanpa disedari kita sudah berpuasa selama dua puluh hari. Pagi ini adalah pagi yang ke-21. Sayu dan sedih perasaan di hati ini...
The whole day was spent in the likeliness of infinite eternity yet time swiftly flew infront of my eyes. For the 'blinds' and those who choose not to see... Ramadhan might be considered as a mere stepping stone for the upcoming fiesta. A fiesta in which songs are sung, dresses and fashions are flashed around, foods are probably wasted, money is 'hijacked'... the bottomless merriment without a minute thought for the poor and needy... the bottomless merriment without the realisation and reflection of the true meaning of Ramadhan and Syawal... However, for those who possess the visions... the visions from the eyes and the soul... those who are showered by lights and blessings... those who think and reflect... Ramadhan and Syawal are indeed special months... spiritually... the months where their arrival is anxiously anticipated... the months that can leave a pool of tears when they depart for the lunar cycle to continue its circle... It is the observation on these differences that triggers me to think... in which category am I? Who am I? A Muslim and a Mu'min? Or... just a Muslim?
Though it is not raining during this early twilight hours, the night is cool indeed. The night sky seeps into me the essence of tranquility and peace. No stars and no moon can be seen from the vacinity of my present location. The sound of the spinning fan echoes the night. The sound of some cars passing by the road below seems like a bass to mine ears. Everything is so right. Everything...
Actually, I've just come back from the invisible time tunnel... the unseen journey into the fantasy world has made my spirit wanders and smiles in amusement. It was the third day of the show... The 10th. Kingdom... Now, I'm sitting at my desk typing my thoughts with a wide opened window inhaling the scents of night. A bit perplexed with my surroundings and perhaps with life itself... I should retire to bed early tonite... my tonsilitis is really aching... I've had enough sobbing in the afternoon... hahaha... a round applause for the Indon movie and Yo Soy Betty la Fea... sungguh tak machess aku ni... hmmm... better logout for now... it is the time... the time to be one with myself... to be one with my thoughts and feelings... and to be one with this wonderful calm night... arios!
Sunday, November 24, 2002
dah balik dahhh... errmmm... life restores to its normal pace... all within the confinement of this cave-like home :] kekeke... to finish or not to finish? that is the question... with that i rest my case for now and wish to retire onto the mouth of the tiger... thanks a much muchaha for the visit... to the other muchachas gunyi gunyi puppucurrru... bila nak mai bagan? ;p
Saturday, November 23, 2002
It has been a while I guess…
Life is at its hectic pace though ironically three quarters of the time was somehow spent in deep unmoved slumber. Traveling can always tire us. It is not really pleasant to become a heavy drowsy potato that can barely open its eyes as an aftermath after a joyful long distance traveling. The unpleasantness is added up when the mental faculty is supposed to be at its highest churning capacity. Both the tiredness of the body and the demands of mental agitation are tied as a perfect match that permits the birth of obstinate procrastinations. The dangerous newborn that sucks and drains our will, our drive and our strength to move on with the tasks at hand. Iurgghhh… horrid and horrible indeed…
Beginilah yang dinamakan hidup bermusim. Kadang-kadang kita mengalami musim bunga... kadang-kadang musim panas... kadang-kadang musim sejuk dan hujan yang berpanjangan... musim yang sentiasa berubah mengikut masa dan keadaan. Namun, walaupun kita dibadai oleh perubahan musim sebegini persoalan yang timbul adalah adakah kita mampu untuk merubah setiap musim yang berlaku di dalam kehidupan kita. Errrmmm... bagi aku secara peribadi mungkin agak sukar bagi kita untuk merubah musim-musim ini. Musim-musim ini datang bukan dengan kehendak kita selalunya. Ianya boleh dipengaruhi oleh pelbagai unsur luaran seperti alam sekitar, masyarakat, cuaca, kewangan, rakan-rakan, keluarga dan sebagainya. Unsur-unsur ini mampu mencorak perubahan musim di dalam kehidupan kita samada cara langsung atau secara tidak langsung. Perlukah kita menuding jari dan menyalahkan unsur-unsur ini apabila musim kehidupan berubah?
Everything comes from within. If we tell ourselves that we are happy and to keep on happy, then of course we will be happy. If we whisper the symphony of sadness over and over again, obviously we will become sore and disturbed all day long. What we think reflects our behavior. We are what we are telling ourselves. Yup! Everything comes from within. Some experts say that an optimistic view towards life may lengthen our life span. To abandon gloom and murk behind is supposed to be a healthy act for a good life. However, are we capable to do such at all times when the dark clouds pervade us? Direct this question to our faith... tepuk dada tanya iman…
We are not alone. Though we feel that we are alone… nope… we are not. We are absolutely not alone. Hence, let us cherish what we have today. Be thankful. Be grateful. Carpe diem. Seize the day. May the past bother us not. May the future bother us not. May we live in present in tranquility and in all the essence of peace. May we find them…
~a piece of thought for myself~
Life is at its hectic pace though ironically three quarters of the time was somehow spent in deep unmoved slumber. Traveling can always tire us. It is not really pleasant to become a heavy drowsy potato that can barely open its eyes as an aftermath after a joyful long distance traveling. The unpleasantness is added up when the mental faculty is supposed to be at its highest churning capacity. Both the tiredness of the body and the demands of mental agitation are tied as a perfect match that permits the birth of obstinate procrastinations. The dangerous newborn that sucks and drains our will, our drive and our strength to move on with the tasks at hand. Iurgghhh… horrid and horrible indeed…
Beginilah yang dinamakan hidup bermusim. Kadang-kadang kita mengalami musim bunga... kadang-kadang musim panas... kadang-kadang musim sejuk dan hujan yang berpanjangan... musim yang sentiasa berubah mengikut masa dan keadaan. Namun, walaupun kita dibadai oleh perubahan musim sebegini persoalan yang timbul adalah adakah kita mampu untuk merubah setiap musim yang berlaku di dalam kehidupan kita. Errrmmm... bagi aku secara peribadi mungkin agak sukar bagi kita untuk merubah musim-musim ini. Musim-musim ini datang bukan dengan kehendak kita selalunya. Ianya boleh dipengaruhi oleh pelbagai unsur luaran seperti alam sekitar, masyarakat, cuaca, kewangan, rakan-rakan, keluarga dan sebagainya. Unsur-unsur ini mampu mencorak perubahan musim di dalam kehidupan kita samada cara langsung atau secara tidak langsung. Perlukah kita menuding jari dan menyalahkan unsur-unsur ini apabila musim kehidupan berubah?
Everything comes from within. If we tell ourselves that we are happy and to keep on happy, then of course we will be happy. If we whisper the symphony of sadness over and over again, obviously we will become sore and disturbed all day long. What we think reflects our behavior. We are what we are telling ourselves. Yup! Everything comes from within. Some experts say that an optimistic view towards life may lengthen our life span. To abandon gloom and murk behind is supposed to be a healthy act for a good life. However, are we capable to do such at all times when the dark clouds pervade us? Direct this question to our faith... tepuk dada tanya iman…
We are not alone. Though we feel that we are alone… nope… we are not. We are absolutely not alone. Hence, let us cherish what we have today. Be thankful. Be grateful. Carpe diem. Seize the day. May the past bother us not. May the future bother us not. May we live in present in tranquility and in all the essence of peace. May we find them…
~a piece of thought for myself~
Friday, November 22, 2002
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
it was raining the whole day in Jasin... errmmm... a reason to get very comfortable under the blanket the whole day... hahaha... nope! i managed to not hibernate... kekeke... the question now is... to sleep or not to sleep? if i were to sleep then my work could not be done tonight... if i were not to sleep then i might not be able to focus tomorrow... for again... tomorrow i will drive back to the land of North.
suddenly, my innate being was surged with the waves of excitement... the eagerness to watch The 10th. Kingdom that will be shown on NTV7 soon... fantasy... Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter, Enid Blyton's and anything that has to do with fairies, gnomes, goblins, mushrooms as houses, tea parties around the toadstools... errrmmm... lovely indeed... kiddish? hahaha... but it is nice if i were to be teleported to such places, isn't it?... poooffff... disappear to the never-never land... the land where time and age do not exist... the land where youth and happiness will never cease... no pretense... no lies... no whines and tears...
last night before shutting these heavy lids... my brother said, "Armando tuh sesuai untuk kau Long, tapi come to think of it... rasanya... daripada Armando tuh kawin dengan kau baiklah lagi dia kawin ngan Betty..." WAACHHHAAA! my brother got a "blasah-tulang-blakang-dia" from me... kekeke... peaceee... my head is loaded with the writing of my thesis yet he has charmingly came out with some kelako thoughts... buncat... buncat... hehehe...
so... farethewell cool night... may i dream of armando... upsidaisies... eheheh... may i rest in peace... bleeppp... wrong again... may i sleep well and with forgiveness from Him upon my dark sins... for tonight is the blessed night of 15th. Ramadhan... wassalam...
suddenly, my innate being was surged with the waves of excitement... the eagerness to watch The 10th. Kingdom that will be shown on NTV7 soon... fantasy... Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter, Enid Blyton's and anything that has to do with fairies, gnomes, goblins, mushrooms as houses, tea parties around the toadstools... errrmmm... lovely indeed... kiddish? hahaha... but it is nice if i were to be teleported to such places, isn't it?... poooffff... disappear to the never-never land... the land where time and age do not exist... the land where youth and happiness will never cease... no pretense... no lies... no whines and tears...
last night before shutting these heavy lids... my brother said, "Armando tuh sesuai untuk kau Long, tapi come to think of it... rasanya... daripada Armando tuh kawin dengan kau baiklah lagi dia kawin ngan Betty..." WAACHHHAAA! my brother got a "blasah-tulang-blakang-dia" from me... kekeke... peaceee... my head is loaded with the writing of my thesis yet he has charmingly came out with some kelako thoughts... buncat... buncat... hehehe...
so... farethewell cool night... may i dream of armando... upsidaisies... eheheh... may i rest in peace... bleeppp... wrong again... may i sleep well and with forgiveness from Him upon my dark sins... for tonight is the blessed night of 15th. Ramadhan... wassalam...
Monday, November 18, 2002
waduh waduh waduh... rasa mau tercabut tengkuk, pinggang dan segala sendi-sendiku ini... keletihan memandu semalam masih belum hilang lagi... hari ini pula sepanjang hari dok menunsenkan diri sebab ada masalah dengan akaun tmnet dan jaring aku... ceh... buat orang hilang cas ajek... pish posh pish posh... sabarin... aku puasa... sabarin... hehehe... wokkehlah... takmo lama-lama berinternet... setengah jam lagi akan berbuka... ayah pergi pasar ramadhan... mak masak nasi... opah kemas dapur... anak dara sorang ni mengadap komputer? cheh... tak patut... tak patut... :-p oraits... chalo dulu... thanks ra sebab "meminjamkan" akaun internet kau... hehehe... more reasons for not hanging out in this cyberspace too long... perhaps i should try tmnet prepaid card?!!! besh juga idea tuh :-) selamat berbuka mummy! yehaaa!
Saturday, November 16, 2002
kekeke... malam ni aku kat umah opah sedang meligan line tepon opah untuk berinternet... nanti along bagi duit raya lebih yek pah... hehehe... (opppsss... maaf la saudara faiz... bahasa melayu patik perlukan masa untuk lebih dipermantapkan... patik cuba ni... :p... lansing vs. langsing? yang mana satu betul? practice makes perfect?!?)... separuh siang tadik dok ngemas umah dan membasuh baju sebelum berangkat pulang ke selatan untuk menghantar adik-adikku yang manja ni... hehehe... siap naik feri lagi untuk menyeberang ke tanah besar... lerrr... dak buncat ni tak pernah naik feri penang ni... layan aje la... malam semalam aku dah layan round georgetown sampai pukul dua pagi dengan kanak-kanak riang ni... lepas terawih kami pergi pekena char kuey teow di astaka tanjung bungah komdian night stroll... nope... night drive di sekitar gurney drive dan town area... pusing lebuh chulia dua tiga kali tengok "akak" dan singgah di seven eleven membeli belah... pulau nih kecik ajek... huishhh... sungguh tak senon aktiviti aku di malam jumaat ramadhan yang mulia ni... hasilnya... lambat bangun sahur dan sempat blasah leftovers pizza dan punch berbuka ajek... nak layan kopi cap kapal api pun tak sempat nak masak air... padankan muka kami... hehehe... tuh baru cash on delivery kecik jek tuh... ampunnn...
Don't let stress make a memory of your mental faculties. Studies have shown that chronic exposure to stress hormones may interfere with memory performance. To keep stress-induced memory lapses away, schedule mini tension breaks throughout your day. A few minutes of deep breathing exercises, gentle yoga stretches, or positive visualization may be all you need to stay sharp.
...apakah yang boleh kita pelajari dari petikan realage ini?...
beginilah aku... i perform well under these kind of "gilos" machismo activities... it makes my brain functions well... with abundance of dynamism, ideas and flows... yup! stress free too... sambil menyelam minum air... ehh... bulan puasa nih sensiang tak boleh menyelam lama-lama... hehehe... siapa kata terkentut dalam air batal puasa? sila angkat tangan... bagaimana pula dengan sembelit? ermmm... jadiknya di samping menangani penyiapan chapter 1, 2 and 3 aku tetap kena cargas menangani kehendak sosial jugak... baik begini daripada aku berkurung di dalam bilik aku di tingkat sebelas itu... berkurung dan murung tidak menyelesaikan sebarang masalah... malah boleh jadi overloaded dengan stress bila berseorangan sedemikian... biar badan penat sedikit asalkan otak tidak murung... itu adalah dua kali ganda baiknya daripada terperap di dalam bilik cuba menyelesaikan sesuatu dengan hati yang gulana... hati yang gulana + bilik yang best + otak kebas = tido... tido di bulan puasa merupakan satu ibadah tetapi tido dan tido dan tido sahaja... tidak boleh menyelesaikan masalah... mimpi memang enak... masa tido aku mimpi thesis aku dah siap print terletak di atas meja... siap dengan binding sekulek... sedia untuk dihantar kepada penyelia... ouccchhh... reality bites... bila aku gesek-gesekkan mata selepas terjaga dari tidur yang panjang dan mimpi yang indah... hasilnya? meja study aku masih bertaburan dengan articles... screen saver masih bersilih ganti menunjukkan gambar-gambar armando dan betty... errmmm dimanakah thesisnya? mimpi... mimpi...
konklusi... takde pekdah duduk memerap di dalam bilik best... otak kebas... komdian buat taik mata... komdian menyembabkan muka jadi seperti pumpkin... komdian menambah extra pounds... serta menunsenkan diri... oleh sebab itu... lebih baik aku merayap di muka bumi yang terbentang meluas ini... yup... jumpa ayah dan emak dan sanak sedara dan rakan taulan... walau sedikit penat memandu... walau poket pastinya kempis... tapi hikmat memfokus peringkat ke 21 aku amatlah mantap dua kali... malahan berkali-kali... aku boleh berfikir dengan tenang, mengarang dengan lancar, dan insya-Allah... menyiapkan thesis aku on time! aminnn... terima kasih Tuhan di atas nikmat pemberianMu ini... semoga aku boleh melaksanakan tanggungjawabku ini dengan jayanya!
wokkeh... daripada aku merambling without ending... aku ingat baik aku bersegera mengusha kerja-kerja aku nih... sementara masih ada cas positif ni... hehehe... babai dunia... sweet dreams! :-p
p/s: mimpi itu apa? errmmm... i will survive...
First I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong,
and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.
So now you're back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I! I will survive!
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive.
I've got all my life to live,
And I've got all my love to give,
I'll survive, I will survive!
Hey hey..
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart,
Just tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart.
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself,
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high,
And you see me, somebody new;
I'm not that chained up little person who is still in love with you.
So you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free,
But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I! I will survive!
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive,
I've got all my life to live,
And I've got all my love to give,
I'll survive, I will survive!
Oh..
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I! I will survive!
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive,
I've got all my life to live,
And I've got all my love to give,
I'll survive, I will survive!
I'll survive.....
~The Replacement~
Don't let stress make a memory of your mental faculties. Studies have shown that chronic exposure to stress hormones may interfere with memory performance. To keep stress-induced memory lapses away, schedule mini tension breaks throughout your day. A few minutes of deep breathing exercises, gentle yoga stretches, or positive visualization may be all you need to stay sharp.
...apakah yang boleh kita pelajari dari petikan realage ini?...
beginilah aku... i perform well under these kind of "gilos" machismo activities... it makes my brain functions well... with abundance of dynamism, ideas and flows... yup! stress free too... sambil menyelam minum air... ehh... bulan puasa nih sensiang tak boleh menyelam lama-lama... hehehe... siapa kata terkentut dalam air batal puasa? sila angkat tangan... bagaimana pula dengan sembelit? ermmm... jadiknya di samping menangani penyiapan chapter 1, 2 and 3 aku tetap kena cargas menangani kehendak sosial jugak... baik begini daripada aku berkurung di dalam bilik aku di tingkat sebelas itu... berkurung dan murung tidak menyelesaikan sebarang masalah... malah boleh jadi overloaded dengan stress bila berseorangan sedemikian... biar badan penat sedikit asalkan otak tidak murung... itu adalah dua kali ganda baiknya daripada terperap di dalam bilik cuba menyelesaikan sesuatu dengan hati yang gulana... hati yang gulana + bilik yang best + otak kebas = tido... tido di bulan puasa merupakan satu ibadah tetapi tido dan tido dan tido sahaja... tidak boleh menyelesaikan masalah... mimpi memang enak... masa tido aku mimpi thesis aku dah siap print terletak di atas meja... siap dengan binding sekulek... sedia untuk dihantar kepada penyelia... ouccchhh... reality bites... bila aku gesek-gesekkan mata selepas terjaga dari tidur yang panjang dan mimpi yang indah... hasilnya? meja study aku masih bertaburan dengan articles... screen saver masih bersilih ganti menunjukkan gambar-gambar armando dan betty... errmmm dimanakah thesisnya? mimpi... mimpi...
konklusi... takde pekdah duduk memerap di dalam bilik best... otak kebas... komdian buat taik mata... komdian menyembabkan muka jadi seperti pumpkin... komdian menambah extra pounds... serta menunsenkan diri... oleh sebab itu... lebih baik aku merayap di muka bumi yang terbentang meluas ini... yup... jumpa ayah dan emak dan sanak sedara dan rakan taulan... walau sedikit penat memandu... walau poket pastinya kempis... tapi hikmat memfokus peringkat ke 21 aku amatlah mantap dua kali... malahan berkali-kali... aku boleh berfikir dengan tenang, mengarang dengan lancar, dan insya-Allah... menyiapkan thesis aku on time! aminnn... terima kasih Tuhan di atas nikmat pemberianMu ini... semoga aku boleh melaksanakan tanggungjawabku ini dengan jayanya!
wokkeh... daripada aku merambling without ending... aku ingat baik aku bersegera mengusha kerja-kerja aku nih... sementara masih ada cas positif ni... hehehe... babai dunia... sweet dreams! :-p
p/s: mimpi itu apa? errmmm... i will survive...
First I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong,
and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.
So now you're back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I! I will survive!
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive.
I've got all my life to live,
And I've got all my love to give,
I'll survive, I will survive!
Hey hey..
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart,
Just tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart.
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself,
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high,
And you see me, somebody new;
I'm not that chained up little person who is still in love with you.
So you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free,
But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I! I will survive!
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive,
I've got all my life to live,
And I've got all my love to give,
I'll survive, I will survive!
Oh..
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I! I will survive!
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive,
I've got all my life to live,
And I've got all my love to give,
I'll survive, I will survive!
I'll survive.....
~The Replacement~
Friday, November 15, 2002
On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith."
al-Baqarah: 286
al-Baqarah: 286
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
kerana pulut santan binasa... nak cakap salah... tak cakap salah... bila dah cakap... arramak! silap ayat la pulak... itulah yang dinamakan the noble imperfectness of a human being... the imperfectness that makes things perfect... alkisah...
adusss... sebenarnya hari ini adalah hari mummy kantoi sedunia... yippie! tsik... tsik... ermmm... bagaimana rasanya kantoi itu? begini...
seperti muka yang telah penyet dilanggar stemroll komdian di setiap rongga keluar darah merah beku... muka terasa sebal dan panas memerah... nak kata sakit tak sakit tapi pada hakikatnya memang la sakit... neurons dalaman sesungguhnya berada di dalam keadaan tergezut buncat... nak disorok muka itu tapi tidak tahu di mana... balik tiang... tiang terlalu kecil... balik batu... batu besar pun terasa kecil... huishhhh... memang payah la apabila menghadapi suasana kantoi... paling paling machess pun adjust buat muka lalalala... muka pasrah... muka telan segala kemungkinan samada pahit, manis atau masam dengan jati diri yang errrmmm sepatutnya kukuh la gamoknya... kantoi sememangnya adalah salah satu daripada trajedi sadis kemanusiaan... gila adingdong...
aku memang terasa gilos jap ni... hik... hik... memang kantoi gilerrr... ini dapat diresapi dari aura semesta peringkat ke lapan kolonel perwira perkasa gaban... hik... hik... okeys... disebabkan aku quite disoriented... maka sebelum aku melalut tak tentu pasal... bercerita tentang aliens bla bla bla... baiklah aku menggostankan diri dahulu... beep beep beep... lahai... signal gostan aku ni memokak la pulak... ooo patut la ada pokok gajus kat belakang ni... kekeke... babai la mummy nyer... selamat merecoverkan diri dari aura kekantoian yang mega supersale!
adusss... sebenarnya hari ini adalah hari mummy kantoi sedunia... yippie! tsik... tsik... ermmm... bagaimana rasanya kantoi itu? begini...
seperti muka yang telah penyet dilanggar stemroll komdian di setiap rongga keluar darah merah beku... muka terasa sebal dan panas memerah... nak kata sakit tak sakit tapi pada hakikatnya memang la sakit... neurons dalaman sesungguhnya berada di dalam keadaan tergezut buncat... nak disorok muka itu tapi tidak tahu di mana... balik tiang... tiang terlalu kecil... balik batu... batu besar pun terasa kecil... huishhhh... memang payah la apabila menghadapi suasana kantoi... paling paling machess pun adjust buat muka lalalala... muka pasrah... muka telan segala kemungkinan samada pahit, manis atau masam dengan jati diri yang errrmmm sepatutnya kukuh la gamoknya... kantoi sememangnya adalah salah satu daripada trajedi sadis kemanusiaan... gila adingdong...
aku memang terasa gilos jap ni... hik... hik... memang kantoi gilerrr... ini dapat diresapi dari aura semesta peringkat ke lapan kolonel perwira perkasa gaban... hik... hik... okeys... disebabkan aku quite disoriented... maka sebelum aku melalut tak tentu pasal... bercerita tentang aliens bla bla bla... baiklah aku menggostankan diri dahulu... beep beep beep... lahai... signal gostan aku ni memokak la pulak... ooo patut la ada pokok gajus kat belakang ni... kekeke... babai la mummy nyer... selamat merecoverkan diri dari aura kekantoian yang mega supersale!
My gratitude to Allah the Almighty... This Ramadhan is indeed not a lonely Ramadhan... my family members are closely around me... I don't have any classes to attend except a thesis to be submitted... blewp...
Unlike last year's Ramadhan... I even had to break my fast in the classroom... with a bottle of kiwi juice and a bar of muesli... what an incredible experience... It was primarily a bit unbelievable having to break my fast in the classroom... as if I was studying overseas... hahaha... it was just an overstrait... yet I felt like I was not in Malaysia... There were lecturers who did understand and they gave the class and me a half an hour break for me to savour my delicacies and to pray... and... there were lecturers who refused to understand and continued with their lectures from 6.30 p.m. until 10.00 p.m.... non-stop and a with a preliminary warning that they would not stop at all... those who wanted to break their fast had to silently leave the classroom and return back afterwards... bahhh... then... I would totally miss half of the lesson! They really gave me an enough time... An enough time to make my tummy grumbled in jazz and samba... An enough time to make my vision blurred, my motion unsteady and my emotions went frantic... This is the naked fact! If I were in the States... perhaps I wouldn't mind... If I were in Australia... perhaps I wouldn't mind... If I were in UK... I perhaps wouldn't mind... but to be in my own country... the so-called "Islamic country"... this kind of situation is beyond amazement! Anyway, that is part of my bittersweet experience... an unforgettable experience... to further my study and be the only Muslim in the class...
Today, when I broke my fast... I remembered all those moments... the tear glands almost activate themselves... I'm thankful today for I am still alive to breath in another Ramadhan, to be with my beloved family and friends and above all... to be able to be thankful to my Lord... for the strength that He gives me... for the tranquility, the sanity and everything that has enabled me to function as me... the I... the what I am...
Before resting these fingers from tapping this keyboard... I wish to wish a Happy Birthday for my beloved brother, Arif and my landlord cum housemate, Siti... May both of you have a blessed birthday in this blessed month! :-) Good nite!
Unlike last year's Ramadhan... I even had to break my fast in the classroom... with a bottle of kiwi juice and a bar of muesli... what an incredible experience... It was primarily a bit unbelievable having to break my fast in the classroom... as if I was studying overseas... hahaha... it was just an overstrait... yet I felt like I was not in Malaysia... There were lecturers who did understand and they gave the class and me a half an hour break for me to savour my delicacies and to pray... and... there were lecturers who refused to understand and continued with their lectures from 6.30 p.m. until 10.00 p.m.... non-stop and a with a preliminary warning that they would not stop at all... those who wanted to break their fast had to silently leave the classroom and return back afterwards... bahhh... then... I would totally miss half of the lesson! They really gave me an enough time... An enough time to make my tummy grumbled in jazz and samba... An enough time to make my vision blurred, my motion unsteady and my emotions went frantic... This is the naked fact! If I were in the States... perhaps I wouldn't mind... If I were in Australia... perhaps I wouldn't mind... If I were in UK... I perhaps wouldn't mind... but to be in my own country... the so-called "Islamic country"... this kind of situation is beyond amazement! Anyway, that is part of my bittersweet experience... an unforgettable experience... to further my study and be the only Muslim in the class...
Today, when I broke my fast... I remembered all those moments... the tear glands almost activate themselves... I'm thankful today for I am still alive to breath in another Ramadhan, to be with my beloved family and friends and above all... to be able to be thankful to my Lord... for the strength that He gives me... for the tranquility, the sanity and everything that has enabled me to function as me... the I... the what I am...
Before resting these fingers from tapping this keyboard... I wish to wish a Happy Birthday for my beloved brother, Arif and my landlord cum housemate, Siti... May both of you have a blessed birthday in this blessed month! :-) Good nite!
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
aku cuba... aku cuba... aku cuba...
aku mesti... aku mesti... aku mesti...
aku boleh... aku boleh... aku boleh...
mummy boleh!
sesungguhnya aku berpuasa
aku mesti tenang
aku mesti damai
aku mesti waras
teknik menyedut oksigen perlu diperbaiki
tiada gelojoh
tiada ghuplah
tiada kesesakan
sesungguhnya aku berpuasa
bila izrail datang memanggil
jasad terbujur di pembaringan
seluruh tubuh akan mengigil
seluruh badan akan kedinginan
Ramadhan Mubarak a'laini!
aku mesti... aku mesti... aku mesti...
aku boleh... aku boleh... aku boleh...
mummy boleh!
sesungguhnya aku berpuasa
aku mesti tenang
aku mesti damai
aku mesti waras
teknik menyedut oksigen perlu diperbaiki
tiada gelojoh
tiada ghuplah
tiada kesesakan
sesungguhnya aku berpuasa
bila izrail datang memanggil
jasad terbujur di pembaringan
seluruh tubuh akan mengigil
seluruh badan akan kedinginan
Ramadhan Mubarak a'laini!
