alam...

awan hitam berarak perlahan... mendung menutupi senyuman sang mentari... langit tidak selalunya cerah... kadang kala mendung... kadang kala hujan... kadang kala ribut...


once upon a time...

there was a girl who would cry if somebody rearranged her belongings... she would feel restless if her glance fell onto her dishelleved clothes and properties... she would feel terrible if she didn't organise her notes, bed, book shelf and locker everyday... she would feel stupid if she was not able to please herself in everything she did... she would feel bad if she didn't socialise in a day... to have a yea yea time at the Mall, Bangsar, SS2, Section 14, One Utama, etc. with kindred mates, members and friends... she would feel irresponsible if she didn't carry out her duty on the field... above all... she was an ultimate perfectionist... a near obsessive compulsive person... someone who knew what she wanted and how it could be achieved in a perfect way... well... she felt really happy with her then way of life... it was really organised... colourful... and... full with joy and laughter...


once upon a time...

there was a lady who was very creative and productive... she made her own beautiful organiser... a masterpiece... she came out with a module and a workbook for her diploma students... she could bubbly teach her students though the time showed six in the evening... she had her own principles and were ready to sacrifice herself for the betterment of others... she slept little at night coming back home at two in the morning after selflessly spending her time for arts... she could sweep the world with all her might... she was brave... she was fearless... she was bold... her life was full with unexpected turns and adventures... though she was stabbed at the back by her close friend... she managed to get her grips on life in no time and to reason with that bad moment in a positive manner... above all... she was a superwoman... someone who had something to do and could face the thorns and bumps of life smilingly... well... though sometimes she emotionally and physically faltered... she okayed with that kind of life... she had contributed her mind and strength in something that she believed... she was happy... she had a meaningful life...


present day...

there is a woman with a conflicting mind... her age has climbed farther up... yet... she doesn't really know what is her arbitrary aim in this worldly life... what she really wants... what she really wants to do... all the while... selflessly... from a to z... her life is directly and indirectly dictated by others... she receives trust and fund... yet she doesn't sure whether that is the correct thing to embark upon... what is the purpose of learning something that she has learnt before... she wants something new... she wants a change... she is bored ultimately she is suffocating from the pressure of boredom... most of the time... she feels the distance... she sometimes tries to distant her life... she prefers to be disconnected from the social circles... she prefers to be alone... bringing her pain and her pathetic self into an ultimate closure... bringing everything into the cave of darkness... far and far away from others' pity and sympathy... she doesn't want any sunlight... she wants to find peace in her own painful way... she wants to find answers in her own tragic way... a foolish pride... this woman is a disturbed woman... she smiles... she laughs... she giggles... yet... inside her... there are painful knots and some disentangled webs... a lunatic she is... she doesn't even know how to be organised... her notes, papers, books and everything in her room are in a mess... a mumble jumble craps... reflecting the inner mess that she is in... she no longer goes to the field and performs her duty and responsibility... it has been quite sometime... hmmm... how she really misses those enchanting arts moments... above all... she is a down trodden woman with no confidence... boring... lacking in self-esteem... wise judgement zilt... brain dead... cluesless... useless... creativity retarded... zero productivity... an unworthy spoiled damsel in distress... well... of course... she absolutely distastes this kind of life... she has a sombre life... she is not happy... she is not happy at all...


alam...

burung mula keluar dari sarangnya... bersiul riang mencari rezeki... nyanyian cengkerik hampir tidak kedengaran... katak berorchestra kegembiraan... titisan air membasahi dedaun hijau... segenap penjuru tanah masih kebasahan... segar... di ufuk timur kelihatan sang mentari mula memancarkan sinarnya... kesejukan hujan di malam hari disapa oleh suam mentari pagi... mentari pagi yang menjanjikan seribu kisah...