Offline Entry 3 - Last Sekopek
kerna terlalu mempercayaimu...
there goes a line from erra fazira's... haahnya... kerna terlalu mempercayai seseorang tu maka sekarang aku hidup di dalam kekebasan yang amat... kebas macam baru lepas kena ubat bius... kena geletek pun tak terasa... kena cubit pun tak terasa... nak operate pun operate la aku takkan rasa apa-apa der... erk... hehehe...
it is monday 30th. june 2003... waktu... 1.51 a.m.... aku belum tidur lagi... tengah layan lagu-lagu blues lagi sentimentol... si dila dah lama tidur... kepenatan sangat budak tu... banyak sangat aktiviti extra curricular dia dari siang sampai ke malam... keluar bilik pukul lapan pagi dan balik pukul dua belas malam kemudian study financial management la pulak... akhirnya buku baca... iskh... kesian la pulak aku tengok dia... aku suruh dia tidur ajek... dalam pukul 4 atau 4.30 karang aku kena kejutkan dia semula... sambung study...
begitulah hidup seorang pelajar... ada tuh yang sungguh nerdy dan langsung tidak melibatkan diri dalam kehidupan berpersatuan... ada tuh yang sungguh aktif sehingga tanggungjawab akademik tidak terlaksana... pokok pangkalnya sekiranya kita hendak kedua-duanya sekali maka time management sangatlah penting... zaman sekarang ni bukannya mudah hendak mencari kerja... selalunya employers sangat particular di dalam soal mencari the right candidate to sit for the vacancy... realitinya... kengkadang orang yang dapat cgpa second class upper belum tentu dapat kerja dengan mudah... ada tu diploma holder aje tapi gajinya mengalahkan degree holder... dan yang lagi best sesetengah tu tiada apa-apa academic qualification pun tetapi perghhh senang benar dapat jawatan yang tinggi... erk... aku tak mau sentuh tentang kronism atau yang sewaktu dengannya... apa yang aku nak ketengahkan ialah tentang bagaimana kita membawa diri kita semasa sesi temudagu... blewp... sesi temuduga tuh... kena yakin diri, berani dan bercakap benar... too over confident pun tak bagus gak... silap-silap haribulan interviewers akan cop kita sebagai jokers... erk... parah gak tuh... oleh itu kepada sesiapa yang sedang job hunting tuh dan kebetulan pulak tersinggah kat sighnomore aku ni... aku nasihatkan agar ngkorang sediakan resume yang power i.e. typo error free, grammatically correct dan kemas... cantik tapi tak kemas takde pekdah gak... akan menunjukkan sifat kepura-puraan kita la pulak... ayat cover letter biar power gila ading dong... erk... pastikan kandungannya sincere dan straightforward... kemudian sebelum pergi interview kena tidur awal... jangan lupa bangun sembahyang subuh dan doa bebanyak... most importantly... cool! jangan gabra... our body language speaks louder... wa akhiran... tawakal... dapat... alhamdulillah... tak dapat... jangan buruk sangka dengan Tuhan... rezeki kita di tempat lain la gamoknya tuh... cuba lagi dan jangan sekali-kali putus asa...
begitulah sedikit tips yang ringkas berdasarkan pengalaman aku sewaktu waktu dahulu... alhamdulillah... aku ni tak terer mana pun tetapi rezeki tuh murah kot maka setiap kali interview alhamdulillah dapat dengan senang... namun dugaannya ialah aku benar-benar jadi weng tak tahu nak pilih yang mana satu... maka keputusan aku sentiasa dipengaruhi oleh rakan-rakan aku... akhirnya... aku jadi tak happy kerja... manataknya... nawaitu aku mengikut hajat orang jadi macamanalah diri sendiri nak rasa puas dengan apa yang dilakukan... kerja pertama... hop... kerja kedua... hop... kerja ketiga... stop... jadi student lagi best... maka aku kini adalah seorang student... yehaa! aku happy jadi student semula... tapi yang membuatkan aku rasa gelisah dan kurang best adalah apabila aku fikirkan tentang tanggungjawab... memang la sedap setiap bulan dapat duit daripada kerajaan tetapi sebenarnya tak sesedap mana pun bila difikir-fikirkan mengenai tanggungjawab... tanggungjawab nak kena perform... tanggungjawab nak kena berlaku amanah dengan duit yang diberi... dan macam-macam lagi... memang berlainan dengan mereka-mereka yang membiayai pengajian dengan duit sendiri... aku pun dulu masa register sambung belajar ingatkan nak biaya pakai duit sendiri tapi rezeki aku datang bergolek-golek... sampai dua tempat nak sponsor aku... erk... bukannya aku nak riak cuma aku nak bercerita ajek pengalaman aku... tapi itulah... kesemua ini merupakan ujian besar dari Allah untuk aku... Allah uji aku dengan kesenangan... masa tu hanya Tuhan aje yang tahu betapa kelirunya aku untuk membuat keputusan... aku memang bengap di dalam hal-hal decision making ni... maka aku ke sana ke mari bertanyakan pendapat orang... akhirnya aku serahkan sahaja pada pilihan mak dan ayah... well now... here i am... belajar di utara... hidup dengan penuh perasaan yang tidak menentu... bayang-bayang aku pun masih belum berjumpa dengan tuannya... mungkin hampir berjumpa tetapi perjalanannya masih sungguh jauh... walaupun aku memang selalu susah hati, keliru dan masih tak faham mengapa dan kenapa... namun aku masih waras... aku diduga sebegini hebat... hidup di dalam suasana yang amat baru... terpisah dari keluarga... jauh dari sahabat-handai... hormon aku pun dah tak betul selama setahun enam bulan... sehingga kini aku belum boleh faham gaya pemikiran supervisor dan lecturer-lecturer aku yang lain... aku jadi pentan amat... namun... aku yakin... aku pasti... sekiranya aku sabar, berani dan yakin... insya-Allah... Tuhan akan tolong aku... adalah hikmahnya tu disebalik apa yang berlaku pada aku ni... aku aje yang belum nampak... belum masanya lagi kot... maka... CHIAYOK! aku kena steadfast... aku kena lalu... setelah lalu baru tahu... yedak?
erk... mang aiii... terpanjang lebar la pulak aku terbersoal hati di dinihari sebegini... asalnya aku ingat nak cerita tentang apa yang aku buat siang tadi... hehehe... takpelah... huargghhh... tetiba aku pun dah terasa mengantuk ni... nitey... nitey... :-)
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hahaha... maka sekian dahulu aktiviti tampalan buat hari ini... lain hari jumpa lagi... hehehe... tatatititutu...
Monday, June 30, 2003
Offline Entry 2
bernafas dalam lumpur...
entri ni pula dibawa ke alam nyata pada 28 jun 2003 10.01 p.m. malam sabtu yang sungguh boring... aku masih menjadi 'penunggu' di bilik adik aku... blewp...
it has been five days since i was here in the central... there were things that i managed to achieve and there are also lots of stuffs that i am yet to achieve... alhamdulillah and chaiyok chaiyok some more... :-)
pelik tapi benar... misteri nusantara... sejak hari selasa sehinggalah malam ini aku belum lagi mencecahkan kaki aku ke daerah luar selain daripada daerah kampus yang hijau ni... fuhhh... aku pun macam tak percaya dengan diri aku... this is not me at all... setakat ni tak pernah lagi la bila aku datang ke central ni aku tak keluar berghonjeng... paling koman pun aku pasti akan melangkah keluar ke kubur atau ong tai kim... fuhhh... grabbet... grabbet... erk! masih katak simpan lagikah aku ni? blewp... petang tadi aku ada rancang nak hang ngan adik-adik aku... kononnya nak menjadikan malam sabtu ni happening dengan aktiviti night stroll yang sungguh tak bermanafaat... tetapi selepas ditimbang-timbangkan semula dengan penelitian terhadap faktor cuaca yang sejuk baru lepas hujan, kenaikan harga petrol, kepadatan agong dan sen di dalam dompet, kesibukan berpersatuan yang telah melanda setiap malam dalam minggu ini dan yang paling utama berkali-kali iaitu faktor akademik... maka aku memutuskan agar kami tak payahlah berghonjeng membuang masa di malam sabtu yang sepatutnya happening ni...beli sahaja nasi lemak di kantin asrama dan study... boring sehhh... tapi nak buat camano... dah drebar ni pun pemalas dan berangin kus kus macam nak mamp... bersabor ajelah... at least dak maniobi tuh dapat berehat dengan best kat parking lot asma' tuh... erk... alasan ajek tuh... syian maniobi... dia kelaparan... dah tiga hari perut dia kosong... sob... sob... syian gak kat dak arif... he was looking forward for a happening night out dan tu tengah quite disappointed la tu bila plan dibatalkan... ilek la adik-adikku... kita kena ikat segala-galanya... nafsu dan keinginan kita untuk huha seperti sewaktu waktu dahulu... kita kena banyak berkorban walaupun most of the time kita adalah insan-insan yang terkorban... sebagai siblings yang seudara kita perlu lebih bertanggungjawab... anyway... buat dila dan arif... chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok! erk... alfonso, kau pun kena chaiyok tau! :-p rindu la pulak kat si alf ni... huuuu huuuu... sob... sob...
arramak! lupa plak aku nak pergi tengok bulletin utama tadik... sajer jer aku nak tengok laporan sambutan sure heboh di bukit jalil tuh... aku ada gak ajak-ajak ayam si dila ni pergi tapi sabtu dan ahad dia sungguh fully occupied... hehehe... aku tak kisah der... aku ni pun bukannya suka pergi ke tempat yang crowded... kalau lepak kat midvalley atau klcc atau any shopping complex pun aku hanya pergi on weekdays ajek... weekends aku selalunya untuk keluarga aku dan sahabat-sahabat aku... lebih bermakna kalau cenggitu... yedak?
hmmm... bercakap tentang sahabat-sahabat ni... aku memang banyak terima sms dari mereka-meraka sepanjang aku berada di sini tapi maaflah yek aku memang tak dapat nak membalas sms-sms tu... hp aku sakit batuk-batuk la pulak... erk... ada sesiapa nak belanja perubatan hp aku? hehehe...
bila aku nak balik ke utara? setelah aku riki-riki... aku ingat macam confirm ajek aku nak naik NICE tuh... maniobi akan aku tinggalkan dengan si arif... aku harap aku boleh balik cecepat... soonest by monday atau latest by wednesday... lagi cepat aku siapkan kerja aku ni lagi cepat la aku boleh submit... lagi cepat aku submit lagi cepat la aku boleh carik kerja sementara nak menunggu stage yang seterusnya... oleh itu... bad hormones! move out from my way!
hmmm... alhamdulillah... aku rasa aku dah pulang pulih... namun... masih terlalu banyak yang perlu dipulihkan lagi... memang benar... aku sesungguhnya telah lupa, alpa dan ghuplah... lupa pengertian... alpa matlamat... ghuplah tanggungjawab... tersasar sesat dari landasan asli... astaghafirullah al-adzhim... semoga aku dikembalikan semula untuk memperolehi aman... damai... tenang...
baiklah... perut aku pun dah kurang meragam ni... aku ingat aku nak buat sesuatu yang sungguh berfaedah malam ni... seperti... tengok mr. duke cerita korea? hahahaha... just kidding... hahahaha...
...sekian...
bernafas dalam lumpur...
entri ni pula dibawa ke alam nyata pada 28 jun 2003 10.01 p.m. malam sabtu yang sungguh boring... aku masih menjadi 'penunggu' di bilik adik aku... blewp...
it has been five days since i was here in the central... there were things that i managed to achieve and there are also lots of stuffs that i am yet to achieve... alhamdulillah and chaiyok chaiyok some more... :-)
pelik tapi benar... misteri nusantara... sejak hari selasa sehinggalah malam ini aku belum lagi mencecahkan kaki aku ke daerah luar selain daripada daerah kampus yang hijau ni... fuhhh... aku pun macam tak percaya dengan diri aku... this is not me at all... setakat ni tak pernah lagi la bila aku datang ke central ni aku tak keluar berghonjeng... paling koman pun aku pasti akan melangkah keluar ke kubur atau ong tai kim... fuhhh... grabbet... grabbet... erk! masih katak simpan lagikah aku ni? blewp... petang tadi aku ada rancang nak hang ngan adik-adik aku... kononnya nak menjadikan malam sabtu ni happening dengan aktiviti night stroll yang sungguh tak bermanafaat... tetapi selepas ditimbang-timbangkan semula dengan penelitian terhadap faktor cuaca yang sejuk baru lepas hujan, kenaikan harga petrol, kepadatan agong dan sen di dalam dompet, kesibukan berpersatuan yang telah melanda setiap malam dalam minggu ini dan yang paling utama berkali-kali iaitu faktor akademik... maka aku memutuskan agar kami tak payahlah berghonjeng membuang masa di malam sabtu yang sepatutnya happening ni...beli sahaja nasi lemak di kantin asrama dan study... boring sehhh... tapi nak buat camano... dah drebar ni pun pemalas dan berangin kus kus macam nak mamp... bersabor ajelah... at least dak maniobi tuh dapat berehat dengan best kat parking lot asma' tuh... erk... alasan ajek tuh... syian maniobi... dia kelaparan... dah tiga hari perut dia kosong... sob... sob... syian gak kat dak arif... he was looking forward for a happening night out dan tu tengah quite disappointed la tu bila plan dibatalkan... ilek la adik-adikku... kita kena ikat segala-galanya... nafsu dan keinginan kita untuk huha seperti sewaktu waktu dahulu... kita kena banyak berkorban walaupun most of the time kita adalah insan-insan yang terkorban... sebagai siblings yang seudara kita perlu lebih bertanggungjawab... anyway... buat dila dan arif... chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok! erk... alfonso, kau pun kena chaiyok tau! :-p rindu la pulak kat si alf ni... huuuu huuuu... sob... sob...
arramak! lupa plak aku nak pergi tengok bulletin utama tadik... sajer jer aku nak tengok laporan sambutan sure heboh di bukit jalil tuh... aku ada gak ajak-ajak ayam si dila ni pergi tapi sabtu dan ahad dia sungguh fully occupied... hehehe... aku tak kisah der... aku ni pun bukannya suka pergi ke tempat yang crowded... kalau lepak kat midvalley atau klcc atau any shopping complex pun aku hanya pergi on weekdays ajek... weekends aku selalunya untuk keluarga aku dan sahabat-sahabat aku... lebih bermakna kalau cenggitu... yedak?
hmmm... bercakap tentang sahabat-sahabat ni... aku memang banyak terima sms dari mereka-meraka sepanjang aku berada di sini tapi maaflah yek aku memang tak dapat nak membalas sms-sms tu... hp aku sakit batuk-batuk la pulak... erk... ada sesiapa nak belanja perubatan hp aku? hehehe...
bila aku nak balik ke utara? setelah aku riki-riki... aku ingat macam confirm ajek aku nak naik NICE tuh... maniobi akan aku tinggalkan dengan si arif... aku harap aku boleh balik cecepat... soonest by monday atau latest by wednesday... lagi cepat aku siapkan kerja aku ni lagi cepat la aku boleh submit... lagi cepat aku submit lagi cepat la aku boleh carik kerja sementara nak menunggu stage yang seterusnya... oleh itu... bad hormones! move out from my way!
hmmm... alhamdulillah... aku rasa aku dah pulang pulih... namun... masih terlalu banyak yang perlu dipulihkan lagi... memang benar... aku sesungguhnya telah lupa, alpa dan ghuplah... lupa pengertian... alpa matlamat... ghuplah tanggungjawab... tersasar sesat dari landasan asli... astaghafirullah al-adzhim... semoga aku dikembalikan semula untuk memperolehi aman... damai... tenang...
baiklah... perut aku pun dah kurang meragam ni... aku ingat aku nak buat sesuatu yang sungguh berfaedah malam ni... seperti... tengok mr. duke cerita korea? hahahaha... just kidding... hahahaha...
...sekian...
hello! sungguh lama aku tak memblog... ni ha dia offline entry aku selama aku tak memblog ni... hehehe...
Offline Entry 1
sungguh lama... memang sungguh lama...
aku ketukkan entri ini pada pukul 8.45 malam pada hari khamis 26 jun 2003...
dila is having a meeting... and me? being left alone and locked in this room minding my own business...
nothing much of joyful and huha stories to narrate...
i was having quite some 'laborious' days in the mud... and... i am definitely in the midst of yes-yes-i-can-see-it and no-yikes-i-still-can't-see-it situation... a bit exhausted and lethargic... disconnected... panicked... broke... muscle cramps... hot flushes... a bit melodramatic...
amidst all these bloody pile of loathsome feelings... i feel truly happy because after hollering for them in my previous entry... unexpectedly... one of the footballers called me yesterday... yippeee! it was really like a sixth sense thingy...the call managed to calm my raging unstable mood... a long lost camaraderie was brought back onto surface... my acidic sentiment was suddenly neutralised... i smiled all evening recollecting the past in its most vibrant potrait... an immediate chain-reaction followed... which made dila had to express her gratitude in some beneficial ways to me... hehe... i earnestly decorated her room all night long... pasting wallpapers here and there... wrapping her table with coloured paper and plastic... pasting her idols in and out... changing her matress... sorting clothes that need to be manually washed and automatically washed... hehe... these activities has really awakened my snoozing creativity... i felt a bit tired but alleviated :-) i have channeled all those flustered emotions towards a rewarding end... alhamdulillah... dila wouldn't mind... she was too busy with her accounting stuffs and her 'persatuan' and other curricular activities... in fact... i am beginning to think that this room is actually mine... hahahahahaha....
i know that some of my friends might want to hang with me while i am here in the central... i am terribly sorry for not being able to do so at the moment because i can't afford to hang like usual... i am burdened... i am totally crippled... ulp...
i am looking forward to go back to north next week to meet my supervisor... i don't think i would be able to travel and drive alone on that boring highway... perhaps a NICE bus would be very nice?! hmmm...
okie dokie... enough of this tirade... i don't have a problem... i really need to find for one or two or more problem/s to make this trivial life worth a living... hang on dudette!
CHAIYOK!
Offline Entry 1
sungguh lama... memang sungguh lama...
aku ketukkan entri ini pada pukul 8.45 malam pada hari khamis 26 jun 2003...
dila is having a meeting... and me? being left alone and locked in this room minding my own business...
nothing much of joyful and huha stories to narrate...
i was having quite some 'laborious' days in the mud... and... i am definitely in the midst of yes-yes-i-can-see-it and no-yikes-i-still-can't-see-it situation... a bit exhausted and lethargic... disconnected... panicked... broke... muscle cramps... hot flushes... a bit melodramatic...
amidst all these bloody pile of loathsome feelings... i feel truly happy because after hollering for them in my previous entry... unexpectedly... one of the footballers called me yesterday... yippeee! it was really like a sixth sense thingy...the call managed to calm my raging unstable mood... a long lost camaraderie was brought back onto surface... my acidic sentiment was suddenly neutralised... i smiled all evening recollecting the past in its most vibrant potrait... an immediate chain-reaction followed... which made dila had to express her gratitude in some beneficial ways to me... hehe... i earnestly decorated her room all night long... pasting wallpapers here and there... wrapping her table with coloured paper and plastic... pasting her idols in and out... changing her matress... sorting clothes that need to be manually washed and automatically washed... hehe... these activities has really awakened my snoozing creativity... i felt a bit tired but alleviated :-) i have channeled all those flustered emotions towards a rewarding end... alhamdulillah... dila wouldn't mind... she was too busy with her accounting stuffs and her 'persatuan' and other curricular activities... in fact... i am beginning to think that this room is actually mine... hahahahahaha....
i know that some of my friends might want to hang with me while i am here in the central... i am terribly sorry for not being able to do so at the moment because i can't afford to hang like usual... i am burdened... i am totally crippled... ulp...
i am looking forward to go back to north next week to meet my supervisor... i don't think i would be able to travel and drive alone on that boring highway... perhaps a NICE bus would be very nice?! hmmm...
okie dokie... enough of this tirade... i don't have a problem... i really need to find for one or two or more problem/s to make this trivial life worth a living... hang on dudette!
CHAIYOK!
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Apakah Itu Bahagia?
pengertian bahagia itu adalah sesuatu yang sungguh subjektif... apa yang aku lakarkan ini adalah pengertian bahagia mengikut kacamata aku... dari kacamata seorang aku yang ada potensi masuk hospital bahagia... :-x
bahagia itu adalah apabila mata terjaga daripada tidur yang lena dengan kuntuman senyuman terukir di bibir... alhamdulillah... aku masih hidup untuk menatap satu lagi hari yang baru... optimis... melalui satu hari yang baru penuh dengan makna... penuh dengan pencapaian... penuh dengan sumbangan yang baik samada untuk diri sendiri, keluarga, masyarakat, bangsa, agama ataupun negara...
bahagia itu adalah apabila sihat serta cergas untuk melakukan apa jua pekerjaan... bahagia itu adalah apabila hormon-hormon badan tidak meragam... bahagia itu adalah apabila fikiran cerdas serta mampu membuahkan akal fikir yang bernas serta mengolah bait-bait kehidupan melalui kata-kata yang sungguh kemas...
bahagia itu adalah apabila menimba pengalaman dan menerima ilmu yang 'ain... bahagia itu adalah apabila berada di sisi seorang guru yang mursyid... bahagia itu adalah apabila ilmu pengetahuan yang ada dapat dimanafaatkan untuk kebaikan sejagat...
bahagia itu adalah apabila mampu untuk mengharungi segala bentuk rintangan dan halangan dengan penuh kesabaran dan keimanan... mampu untuk menyatakan berkali-kali kepada diri sendiri bahawa 'tiada masalah yang tiada jalan penyelesaian'... bahagia itu adalah ketabahan... bahagia itu adalah kecekalan... bahagia itu adalah kekuatan... bahagia itu adalah percaya... bahagia itu adalah yakin...
bahagia itu adalah keluarga yang saling sayang menyayangi... tidak membebankan antara satu sama lain... tidak membebankan ibu dan bapa yang telah mendidik dari kecil hingga dewasa... bahagia itu adalah adik-beradik yang seudara... bahagia itu adalah tidak mempunyai insan-insan yang 'useless' di dalam keluarga...
bahagia bukannya terletak pada wang ringgit... bahagia bukannya terletak pada harta benda... kereta yang mewah, rumah yang besar, komputer yang canggih, handphone yang terkini, pakaian yang berjenama... tanpa wang ringgit tanpa harta ada juga manusia yang mampu hidup bahagia... bahagia bukannya terletak di atas kredit kad yang memenuhi ruang dompet... bahagia juga bukannnya terletak di atas buku cek yang mampu menipis... bahagia itu adalah apabila hidup tidak dibelenggu hutang... bahagia itu adalah apabila kita tidak dijajah oleh wang ringgit dan harta benda... bahagia itu adalah rasa cukup... cukup pakai... cukup makan... cukup minum...
namun...
bolehkah kita bahagia tanpa sesen wang pun di saku?
sesungguhnya bahagia itu adalah kesederhanaan
kita mampu tetapi hidup kita kosong tanpa ada teman di sisi untuk mengongsi rasa, bahagiakah kita?
kita berpelajaran tinggi tetapi seluruh masa dibebani tugas pejabat tanpa ada ruang untuk berinteraksi sesama manusia, bahagiakah kita?
kita susah tetapi di samping kita sentiasa ada si dia untuk menghembuskan semangat juang tanpa jemu, bahagiakah kita?
kita tiada pangkat tetapi kita mempunyai masa untuk berkasih sayang dan berteman, bahagiakah kita?
kita mempunyai kekuatan serta akal fikiran yang waras tetapi kita tidak menjalankan tanggungjawab dan tugas sebagai hamba, bahagiakah kita?
kita mempunyai segala-galanya yang mampu tercapai dek fikiran tetapi kita tidak mendapat rahmat dan rahman Ilahi, bahagiakah kita?
tidak semestinya bila kita beroleh kejayaan kita mampu bahagia
tidak semestinya bila kita beroleh kesenangan kita mampu bahagia
tidak semestinya bila kita mempunyai saudara yang baik kita mampu bahagia
tidak semestinya bila kita mempunyai sahabat yang memahami kita mampu bahagia
manakah letaknya kebahagiaan itu?
bagaimanakah untuk mengecapi kebahagiaan?
wa akhiran...
kebahagiaan mutlak pastinya dikecapi...
pabila kita kenal diri
pabila kita kenal Rabbi
pabila kita sentiasa bersyukur
pabila kita mampu tenang dilambung badai gelora
faham... syukur... akur...
kerana kita
hanyalah insan
hanyalah hamba
manusia bodoh
tidak sempurna walaupun sempurna
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ingin kujeritkan sahaja dadaku ini...
ingin kutepis segala rasa duka...
ingin kukentutkan sahaja angin racun ini...
agar ringan tubuhku ini
terbang tinggi bersama sang bayu
menggapai jaluran pelangi
meniti awan gebu
----------
setelah beberapa hari mendung... hujan... aku kini di dalam 'lumpur'... 'melarikan' diri... mencari kebahagiaan yang 'konon'... :-|
pengertian bahagia itu adalah sesuatu yang sungguh subjektif... apa yang aku lakarkan ini adalah pengertian bahagia mengikut kacamata aku... dari kacamata seorang aku yang ada potensi masuk hospital bahagia... :-x
bahagia itu adalah apabila mata terjaga daripada tidur yang lena dengan kuntuman senyuman terukir di bibir... alhamdulillah... aku masih hidup untuk menatap satu lagi hari yang baru... optimis... melalui satu hari yang baru penuh dengan makna... penuh dengan pencapaian... penuh dengan sumbangan yang baik samada untuk diri sendiri, keluarga, masyarakat, bangsa, agama ataupun negara...
bahagia itu adalah apabila sihat serta cergas untuk melakukan apa jua pekerjaan... bahagia itu adalah apabila hormon-hormon badan tidak meragam... bahagia itu adalah apabila fikiran cerdas serta mampu membuahkan akal fikir yang bernas serta mengolah bait-bait kehidupan melalui kata-kata yang sungguh kemas...
bahagia itu adalah apabila menimba pengalaman dan menerima ilmu yang 'ain... bahagia itu adalah apabila berada di sisi seorang guru yang mursyid... bahagia itu adalah apabila ilmu pengetahuan yang ada dapat dimanafaatkan untuk kebaikan sejagat...
bahagia itu adalah apabila mampu untuk mengharungi segala bentuk rintangan dan halangan dengan penuh kesabaran dan keimanan... mampu untuk menyatakan berkali-kali kepada diri sendiri bahawa 'tiada masalah yang tiada jalan penyelesaian'... bahagia itu adalah ketabahan... bahagia itu adalah kecekalan... bahagia itu adalah kekuatan... bahagia itu adalah percaya... bahagia itu adalah yakin...
bahagia itu adalah keluarga yang saling sayang menyayangi... tidak membebankan antara satu sama lain... tidak membebankan ibu dan bapa yang telah mendidik dari kecil hingga dewasa... bahagia itu adalah adik-beradik yang seudara... bahagia itu adalah tidak mempunyai insan-insan yang 'useless' di dalam keluarga...
bahagia bukannya terletak pada wang ringgit... bahagia bukannya terletak pada harta benda... kereta yang mewah, rumah yang besar, komputer yang canggih, handphone yang terkini, pakaian yang berjenama... tanpa wang ringgit tanpa harta ada juga manusia yang mampu hidup bahagia... bahagia bukannya terletak di atas kredit kad yang memenuhi ruang dompet... bahagia juga bukannnya terletak di atas buku cek yang mampu menipis... bahagia itu adalah apabila hidup tidak dibelenggu hutang... bahagia itu adalah apabila kita tidak dijajah oleh wang ringgit dan harta benda... bahagia itu adalah rasa cukup... cukup pakai... cukup makan... cukup minum...
namun...
bolehkah kita bahagia tanpa sesen wang pun di saku?
sesungguhnya bahagia itu adalah kesederhanaan
kita mampu tetapi hidup kita kosong tanpa ada teman di sisi untuk mengongsi rasa, bahagiakah kita?
kita berpelajaran tinggi tetapi seluruh masa dibebani tugas pejabat tanpa ada ruang untuk berinteraksi sesama manusia, bahagiakah kita?
kita susah tetapi di samping kita sentiasa ada si dia untuk menghembuskan semangat juang tanpa jemu, bahagiakah kita?
kita tiada pangkat tetapi kita mempunyai masa untuk berkasih sayang dan berteman, bahagiakah kita?
kita mempunyai kekuatan serta akal fikiran yang waras tetapi kita tidak menjalankan tanggungjawab dan tugas sebagai hamba, bahagiakah kita?
kita mempunyai segala-galanya yang mampu tercapai dek fikiran tetapi kita tidak mendapat rahmat dan rahman Ilahi, bahagiakah kita?
tidak semestinya bila kita beroleh kejayaan kita mampu bahagia
tidak semestinya bila kita beroleh kesenangan kita mampu bahagia
tidak semestinya bila kita mempunyai saudara yang baik kita mampu bahagia
tidak semestinya bila kita mempunyai sahabat yang memahami kita mampu bahagia
manakah letaknya kebahagiaan itu?
bagaimanakah untuk mengecapi kebahagiaan?
wa akhiran...
kebahagiaan mutlak pastinya dikecapi...
pabila kita kenal diri
pabila kita kenal Rabbi
pabila kita sentiasa bersyukur
pabila kita mampu tenang dilambung badai gelora
faham... syukur... akur...
kerana kita
hanyalah insan
hanyalah hamba
manusia bodoh
tidak sempurna walaupun sempurna
----------
ingin kujeritkan sahaja dadaku ini...
ingin kutepis segala rasa duka...
ingin kukentutkan sahaja angin racun ini...
agar ringan tubuhku ini
terbang tinggi bersama sang bayu
menggapai jaluran pelangi
meniti awan gebu
----------
setelah beberapa hari mendung... hujan... aku kini di dalam 'lumpur'... 'melarikan' diri... mencari kebahagiaan yang 'konon'... :-|
Thursday, June 19, 2003
that hideous stinky yukky smell is backkk! iurgghh!
-----------
erk... it is not really the very early in the morning... as planned thoroughly last night... i am suppose to go to malacca at this hour but nay... that dreadful ouchy is stabbing me... ouchy ouchy... mebbe it will go away soon? please please do go away... don't spoil my plans... don't spoil my everything... :-|
----------
hmmm... waktu-waktu subuh yang damai begini mengingatkan aku pada kisah zaman silam semasa di bangku sekolah dulu... kelako ajek bila mengenangkan ke'taiko'an aku sewaktu waktu dahulu...huish... memang sungguh taiko... masa di sekolah rendah aku memang baikkk... angelic... kawan ngan geng-geng elite ajek... hehehe... tapi bila masuk sekolah menengah... huh... akulah yang the 'pro' taiko... cuma aku memang amat bernasib baik sebab tak pernah kena blacklisted untuk dikenakan public canning atau buang sekolah... hanya keluar masuk bilik kaunseling ajek... hehehe... bukannya apa... aku bukannya tak sedar yang aku ni sungguh taiko cuma memang best sesangat bila jadik "songsang" ni (hehehe... sifoo! borrow perkataan kau ni sket ek :p)... popular aper... sebut ajek 'football team'... juniors gerun... sebut ajek 'mummy pro ft'... juniors respect... though aku dan geng-geng aku ni macam dinosour kecik yang lebih bahaya daripada dinosour besar (erk... crack! pinjam sket analogi kau ni... hehe) tapi kamilah yang memeriahkan sekolah tuh... keceriaan sekolah memang bidang kami... sanggup tak masuk kelas semata-mata nak cat dinding sekolah... hehe... alasan... alasan... kemudian bila time main petang kamilah yang conquer dewan ajar bebudak tuh aerobik... hahaha... which was more like a dancing class rather than aerobik... hehehe... kamilah yang selalu buat aktiviti "menuntut hak" di dewan makan asrama... kami jugaklah yang memeriahkan majlis orientasi pelajar dengan meragging bebudak kecik... kui... kui... kui... kalau tak jumpa aku dan geng-geng aku masa prep class maknanya kami sedang lepak kat balkoni depan dorm membuat illegal intellectual mass gathering... heheh... kalau tak jumpa kami waktu malam hujung minggu maknanya kami sedang berparty samada di bilik pusat sumber atau di koop atau di bengkel pekerja... huih... memang best sungguh... especially bila time kami carik pasal dengan The Noors, pengetua, azian, naizan, erk...siapa lagi sorang yang jahat sampai buat mimi botak tu ek? anyway... kami hidup happy... tak tensen... takde kusut masai nak pikir hal-hal orang dewasa... hal-hal percintaan... iurghhs... hal-hal serius masa depan... memang reap the day abis-abisan... yang pastinya... belajar tetap belajar... enjoy tetap enjoy! the Football Team rules! yehaaa! hmmm... dah lama sangat aku tak mendengar khabar berita geng football team ni... anai, ad, keteq, roxem, along buaya, ida rahayu, lin seman, ayu, linda o, eily dan mimi... hoi! aku rindu la ngan ngkorang... muahs... muahss...
----------
hmmm... bukannya senang nak jadi senang yedaks? orang boleh kata itu ini kat kita... orang boleh suruh itu ini kat kita... orang boleh paksa itu ini kat kita... tapi... orang tahu ke kesusahan kita bila orang kata itu ini... orang tahu ke beban bila kita orang suruh itu ini... orang paham ke keperitan kita bila orang paksa buat itu ini... rasa sungguh tertekan... dilema... konflik yang mencarik dan meluluhkan hati... orang tak tahu.. kita tahu... Tuhan tahu... orang tak faham... kita faham... Tuhan faham... berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul... kais pagi makan pagi... kais petang makan petang... erk... ayam? bagaimana dengan periuk kera? menadah tanpa mampu menuang... embun yang bertakung dingin sekali... benarkah kedinginan itu tidak mencengkam sendi? beku dan kering... hari-hari makan ikan kering... erk... ikan kering? ikan kering pun ikan kering la... lalalalalala...
----------
end of the morning rambles. fullstop.
-----------
erk... it is not really the very early in the morning... as planned thoroughly last night... i am suppose to go to malacca at this hour but nay... that dreadful ouchy is stabbing me... ouchy ouchy... mebbe it will go away soon? please please do go away... don't spoil my plans... don't spoil my everything... :-|
----------
hmmm... waktu-waktu subuh yang damai begini mengingatkan aku pada kisah zaman silam semasa di bangku sekolah dulu... kelako ajek bila mengenangkan ke'taiko'an aku sewaktu waktu dahulu...huish... memang sungguh taiko... masa di sekolah rendah aku memang baikkk... angelic... kawan ngan geng-geng elite ajek... hehehe... tapi bila masuk sekolah menengah... huh... akulah yang the 'pro' taiko... cuma aku memang amat bernasib baik sebab tak pernah kena blacklisted untuk dikenakan public canning atau buang sekolah... hanya keluar masuk bilik kaunseling ajek... hehehe... bukannya apa... aku bukannya tak sedar yang aku ni sungguh taiko cuma memang best sesangat bila jadik "songsang" ni (hehehe... sifoo! borrow perkataan kau ni sket ek :p)... popular aper... sebut ajek 'football team'... juniors gerun... sebut ajek 'mummy pro ft'... juniors respect... though aku dan geng-geng aku ni macam dinosour kecik yang lebih bahaya daripada dinosour besar (erk... crack! pinjam sket analogi kau ni... hehe) tapi kamilah yang memeriahkan sekolah tuh... keceriaan sekolah memang bidang kami... sanggup tak masuk kelas semata-mata nak cat dinding sekolah... hehe... alasan... alasan... kemudian bila time main petang kamilah yang conquer dewan ajar bebudak tuh aerobik... hahaha... which was more like a dancing class rather than aerobik... hehehe... kamilah yang selalu buat aktiviti "menuntut hak" di dewan makan asrama... kami jugaklah yang memeriahkan majlis orientasi pelajar dengan meragging bebudak kecik... kui... kui... kui... kalau tak jumpa aku dan geng-geng aku masa prep class maknanya kami sedang lepak kat balkoni depan dorm membuat illegal intellectual mass gathering... heheh... kalau tak jumpa kami waktu malam hujung minggu maknanya kami sedang berparty samada di bilik pusat sumber atau di koop atau di bengkel pekerja... huih... memang best sungguh... especially bila time kami carik pasal dengan The Noors, pengetua, azian, naizan, erk...siapa lagi sorang yang jahat sampai buat mimi botak tu ek? anyway... kami hidup happy... tak tensen... takde kusut masai nak pikir hal-hal orang dewasa... hal-hal percintaan... iurghhs... hal-hal serius masa depan... memang reap the day abis-abisan... yang pastinya... belajar tetap belajar... enjoy tetap enjoy! the Football Team rules! yehaaa! hmmm... dah lama sangat aku tak mendengar khabar berita geng football team ni... anai, ad, keteq, roxem, along buaya, ida rahayu, lin seman, ayu, linda o, eily dan mimi... hoi! aku rindu la ngan ngkorang... muahs... muahss...
----------
hmmm... bukannya senang nak jadi senang yedaks? orang boleh kata itu ini kat kita... orang boleh suruh itu ini kat kita... orang boleh paksa itu ini kat kita... tapi... orang tahu ke kesusahan kita bila orang kata itu ini... orang tahu ke beban bila kita orang suruh itu ini... orang paham ke keperitan kita bila orang paksa buat itu ini... rasa sungguh tertekan... dilema... konflik yang mencarik dan meluluhkan hati... orang tak tahu.. kita tahu... Tuhan tahu... orang tak faham... kita faham... Tuhan faham... berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul... kais pagi makan pagi... kais petang makan petang... erk... ayam? bagaimana dengan periuk kera? menadah tanpa mampu menuang... embun yang bertakung dingin sekali... benarkah kedinginan itu tidak mencengkam sendi? beku dan kering... hari-hari makan ikan kering... erk... ikan kering? ikan kering pun ikan kering la... lalalalalala...
----------
end of the morning rambles. fullstop.
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
~Pink: Family Potrait~
Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down
I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
You fight about money
About me and my brother
And this I come home to
This is my shelter
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave
Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too!
I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away (ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my brother
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
Daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
hmmm... suka plak aku dengan lagu pink nih... erk... cool betul video clips dia... anyway... as i am writing this entry adik-adik aku yang berdua kat kl tu sure sedang sibuk bersiap sedia untuk majlis penerangan pengambilan ahli baru... rasa tak best pulak sebab aku tak dapat nak turut serta di pj untuk memeriahkan majlis... aku ni memang suka pergi memeriahkan majlis tapi di atas sebab musabab yang tak dapat dielakkan maka aku terpaksa mengurangkan aktiviti bersosial aku... too bad... tapi sepanjang minggu lepas aku dah menyebukkan diri melihat mereka training setiap malam... so, the too bad wouldn't be much of the too bad... hehehe...
semenjak aku balik ke rumah dinihari sabtu baru-baru ni aku rasa sungguh aman berkali-kali walaupun terasa sedikit 'moist' dan gloomy... hanya aku, alfonso, emak dan ayah sahaja yang ada di rumah ni... bebudak yang berdua tu memang sahih kena belajar kat kuala lumpur tuh... angah pulak tak dapat nak balik bulan ni... uhuk... lahai... rindu gila adingdong aaa ngan sofea... bayeed and the wife... hahahaha... balik kampung jumpa mentua... hahahaha... alfonso pun sekarang ni sibuk semedang... dari segi akademik dia memang sedang pulun buat folio pmr dia yang menimbun-nimbun nak kena hantar ke jabatan... dari segi leisure... huh... setiap petang lepas sekolah dia akan layan cerita kotoko baga tuh... ceh... nyesal tul aku bawak balik vcds tuh dari penang... ceh... ampehs...
aku pulak masih dengan semangat chaiyok san chai aku... cuma kengkadang tuh terasa sungguh depressed bila aku dok terfikir perkara yang bukan-bukan... huh... nasib baiklah sistem pertahanan aku senantiasa aku baiki... hehehe... all works and no play make mummy boring... oleh itu sudah dua hari aku main masak-masak sensorang kat dapur tuh... hehehe... not bad... not bad... masak-masak aku mak bagi A+ tuhhh... hahahahha... suka sungguh hati kecik ku ini... it seems that my unpolished skills breed wonders! hahaha...
iklan: iskh la si alfonso ni... sibuk ajek kacau aku... terjerit-jerit ngan boji boji fei fei dia... suka benar dia kat kotoko yang bersemangat gambate dan irieku yang egoist tuh... hehehe...
actually... there are so many things that i need to do at the moment... bilik belum habis kemas lagi... komputer dila belum pack lagi... kerja aku - of course - banyak yang perlu diperincikan lagi... dan... aku belum sempat pergi ke spital lagi... alahai... boring betul la nak jumpa doktor ni... uhuk... uhuk... kalau biarkan aku r.i.p ajek amacam? hehehe... yelah... yelah... nanti bila suhaila balik aku pergi la... cuak aaa pergi sensorang ni... blewp... pakai tak pakai tak pakai pakai?
dinihari semalam aku bersembang rancak dengan muring... best betul sembang budaya dengan orang budaya dan falsafah ni... bak kata muring seperti 'kuliah' dan aku pulak tambah 'kuliah dinihari'... hehehe... tapi tu la... teknologi ni dengki sangat dengan kerancakan intellectual discourse kami... selamba ajek maxis dialer aku ni buat ragam dan dckan cyber connection aku... pergghh... boring tul... dah la kena bayar bil tepon gila mahal pakai dialer ni... dia pulak buat ragam... ni first time ni... dulu aku pakai akaun tmnet ayah aku tapi that billed account buat ragam tak recognise user dan password... kemudian aku pakai tmnet prepaid tapi lepas beberapa ketika dia pun buat ragam yang sama tak kenal user dan password... kena hacked kot... hmmm... setakat ni maxis okay cuma mahal nak mamp ajek bila tengok bil tepon tuh... dan semalam dia pulak buat hal... huishh... nih nak suruh aku tukar ke jaring la pulak ni... ke tak pun streamyx... papehal pun aku memang tabik salute dengan masyarakat di vienna sebab walaupun kehidupan mereka seems humble dan low profile tapi mereka sudah ada dan biasa dengan kecanggihan wireless internet tuh... bila aku dengar pengalaman muring di sana aku mula terbayangkan "utopia" as coined by Sir Thomas More... power... power... erk... malaysia ni kira utopia ke? hehehe...
okie doks... malam ni aku nak tengok semua software science and maths in english untuk tingkatan satu yang kementerian pendidikan berikan kepada sekolah-sekolah... ada kajian yang menunjukkan those software are too easy for the students... erk... iyea ke? mak aku kata students sekolah dia merangkak tepoten poten nak belajar bebenda tu... hmmm...
baiklah... got to go... ayah sedang masak mee goreng basah kat dapur tu... kui... kui... kui... perut aku rasa lapar la pulak bila terbau haruman yang menyegarkan ni... hehehe...
alfonso! kotoko gambate!
Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down
I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
You fight about money
About me and my brother
And this I come home to
This is my shelter
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave
Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too!
I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away (ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my brother
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
Daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
hmmm... suka plak aku dengan lagu pink nih... erk... cool betul video clips dia... anyway... as i am writing this entry adik-adik aku yang berdua kat kl tu sure sedang sibuk bersiap sedia untuk majlis penerangan pengambilan ahli baru... rasa tak best pulak sebab aku tak dapat nak turut serta di pj untuk memeriahkan majlis... aku ni memang suka pergi memeriahkan majlis tapi di atas sebab musabab yang tak dapat dielakkan maka aku terpaksa mengurangkan aktiviti bersosial aku... too bad... tapi sepanjang minggu lepas aku dah menyebukkan diri melihat mereka training setiap malam... so, the too bad wouldn't be much of the too bad... hehehe...
semenjak aku balik ke rumah dinihari sabtu baru-baru ni aku rasa sungguh aman berkali-kali walaupun terasa sedikit 'moist' dan gloomy... hanya aku, alfonso, emak dan ayah sahaja yang ada di rumah ni... bebudak yang berdua tu memang sahih kena belajar kat kuala lumpur tuh... angah pulak tak dapat nak balik bulan ni... uhuk... lahai... rindu gila adingdong aaa ngan sofea... bayeed and the wife... hahahaha... balik kampung jumpa mentua... hahahaha... alfonso pun sekarang ni sibuk semedang... dari segi akademik dia memang sedang pulun buat folio pmr dia yang menimbun-nimbun nak kena hantar ke jabatan... dari segi leisure... huh... setiap petang lepas sekolah dia akan layan cerita kotoko baga tuh... ceh... nyesal tul aku bawak balik vcds tuh dari penang... ceh... ampehs...
aku pulak masih dengan semangat chaiyok san chai aku... cuma kengkadang tuh terasa sungguh depressed bila aku dok terfikir perkara yang bukan-bukan... huh... nasib baiklah sistem pertahanan aku senantiasa aku baiki... hehehe... all works and no play make mummy boring... oleh itu sudah dua hari aku main masak-masak sensorang kat dapur tuh... hehehe... not bad... not bad... masak-masak aku mak bagi A+ tuhhh... hahahahha... suka sungguh hati kecik ku ini... it seems that my unpolished skills breed wonders! hahaha...
iklan: iskh la si alfonso ni... sibuk ajek kacau aku... terjerit-jerit ngan boji boji fei fei dia... suka benar dia kat kotoko yang bersemangat gambate dan irieku yang egoist tuh... hehehe...
actually... there are so many things that i need to do at the moment... bilik belum habis kemas lagi... komputer dila belum pack lagi... kerja aku - of course - banyak yang perlu diperincikan lagi... dan... aku belum sempat pergi ke spital lagi... alahai... boring betul la nak jumpa doktor ni... uhuk... uhuk... kalau biarkan aku r.i.p ajek amacam? hehehe... yelah... yelah... nanti bila suhaila balik aku pergi la... cuak aaa pergi sensorang ni... blewp... pakai tak pakai tak pakai pakai?
dinihari semalam aku bersembang rancak dengan muring... best betul sembang budaya dengan orang budaya dan falsafah ni... bak kata muring seperti 'kuliah' dan aku pulak tambah 'kuliah dinihari'... hehehe... tapi tu la... teknologi ni dengki sangat dengan kerancakan intellectual discourse kami... selamba ajek maxis dialer aku ni buat ragam dan dckan cyber connection aku... pergghh... boring tul... dah la kena bayar bil tepon gila mahal pakai dialer ni... dia pulak buat ragam... ni first time ni... dulu aku pakai akaun tmnet ayah aku tapi that billed account buat ragam tak recognise user dan password... kemudian aku pakai tmnet prepaid tapi lepas beberapa ketika dia pun buat ragam yang sama tak kenal user dan password... kena hacked kot... hmmm... setakat ni maxis okay cuma mahal nak mamp ajek bila tengok bil tepon tuh... dan semalam dia pulak buat hal... huishh... nih nak suruh aku tukar ke jaring la pulak ni... ke tak pun streamyx... papehal pun aku memang tabik salute dengan masyarakat di vienna sebab walaupun kehidupan mereka seems humble dan low profile tapi mereka sudah ada dan biasa dengan kecanggihan wireless internet tuh... bila aku dengar pengalaman muring di sana aku mula terbayangkan "utopia" as coined by Sir Thomas More... power... power... erk... malaysia ni kira utopia ke? hehehe...
okie doks... malam ni aku nak tengok semua software science and maths in english untuk tingkatan satu yang kementerian pendidikan berikan kepada sekolah-sekolah... ada kajian yang menunjukkan those software are too easy for the students... erk... iyea ke? mak aku kata students sekolah dia merangkak tepoten poten nak belajar bebenda tu... hmmm...
baiklah... got to go... ayah sedang masak mee goreng basah kat dapur tu... kui... kui... kui... perut aku rasa lapar la pulak bila terbau haruman yang menyegarkan ni... hehehe...
alfonso! kotoko gambate!
Monday, June 16, 2003
pantun dua kerat ala sharod :-p
kancil kembara proton saga
kotoko baga!
kelip-kelip kusangka api
erk... apa tapi-tapi?
alfonso buncat makan taugeh
alahai... sungguh banyak songeh... heheh...
dalam mangkuk banyak kuaci
aku benciiii!
ikan pelotan ikan kerapu
hoi pentan! apekemende la yang kau merapu?
pergi pasar pakai terompah
majuk aaahhh...
lepas kenyang duduk tersadai
babai!
kancil kembara proton saga
kotoko baga!
kelip-kelip kusangka api
erk... apa tapi-tapi?
alfonso buncat makan taugeh
alahai... sungguh banyak songeh... heheh...
dalam mangkuk banyak kuaci
aku benciiii!
ikan pelotan ikan kerapu
hoi pentan! apekemende la yang kau merapu?
pergi pasar pakai terompah
majuk aaahhh...
lepas kenyang duduk tersadai
babai!
Sunday, June 15, 2003
Saturday, June 14, 2003
melaka ooo melaka...
alas! aku dah balik ke melaka semula... yea... yea... sudah puas aku lepak di kl selama seminggu... squatting here and there... menumpang musafir di rumah sedara-mara, sahabat-sahabat dan juga bilik adik aku... hehehe...
kali terakhir aku intai si awang kenit ni ialah pada hari selasa lepas... lama gak tuh... nothing much had happened... rabu... zura dan miot dragged aku pergi jumpa doktor... heheh... khamis... aku jadik hua zhe lei seharian dan malamnya aku lepak kat kubur ngan sifoo master dan kemudian zrasss ke shah alam menjenguk rumah baru sahabat aku... jumaat... lepak di tempat adik aku dan selepas adik aku habis training dalam pukul 11.30 malam kami pun tepoten-poten memandu balik ke melaka... sampai rumah jam 2 pagi... okay aaa tuh... tidak la lewat sangat tu... hehehe...
hari ni aku dok bersantai mengulit muscles aku yang sedikit tegang... agaknya lenguh turun naik tangga asrama adik aku... kekeke... okie lah... aku nak keluar jalan-jalan makan angin petang sat... rindu aaa kat jasin ni... hahahaha... ;-)
alas! aku dah balik ke melaka semula... yea... yea... sudah puas aku lepak di kl selama seminggu... squatting here and there... menumpang musafir di rumah sedara-mara, sahabat-sahabat dan juga bilik adik aku... hehehe...
kali terakhir aku intai si awang kenit ni ialah pada hari selasa lepas... lama gak tuh... nothing much had happened... rabu... zura dan miot dragged aku pergi jumpa doktor... heheh... khamis... aku jadik hua zhe lei seharian dan malamnya aku lepak kat kubur ngan sifoo master dan kemudian zrasss ke shah alam menjenguk rumah baru sahabat aku... jumaat... lepak di tempat adik aku dan selepas adik aku habis training dalam pukul 11.30 malam kami pun tepoten-poten memandu balik ke melaka... sampai rumah jam 2 pagi... okay aaa tuh... tidak la lewat sangat tu... hehehe...
hari ni aku dok bersantai mengulit muscles aku yang sedikit tegang... agaknya lenguh turun naik tangga asrama adik aku... kekeke... okie lah... aku nak keluar jalan-jalan makan angin petang sat... rindu aaa kat jasin ni... hahahaha... ;-)
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
The Long "Vacation" Is Officially Over!
Thursday, June the Fifth 2003
as early as ten in the morning we were already on our way to the island... yup! though i hardly slept during the night, i felt refreshed and rejuvenated... hahaha... such dramatic words... hahaha... actually... inside my tummy there were sooo many butterflies fluttering wildly... overwhelmed by what would i encounter ahead... unpredictable... and i wished that i wouldn't have to listen to things that could dishearten my chaiyok and soaring spirit... but i knew... whatever it was... i would never retreat from the battle... this battle... i must win! i must win!
around noon... i managed to meet the officer in-charged and asked her things to clear all my doubts and confusions... alhamdulillah... she assured me that i would be okay and fine and even gave me great advice that was immediately churned as an additional boost to my presently motivated self... hmmm... it is really nice to know that someone really understands what i've gone through all these past gloomy days... feeling recharged, i went to sara's office to say hi and perhaps to take lunch together... but she was not around... i was thinking to meet my supervisor sometime in the afternoon but without sara around, i changed my plan and tried to take a peek whether he was in his room or he had already gone out for lunch... yup! 'luck' was with me... as i went through the general office entrance to go to his room... there he was... standing beside his clerk and was about to get my phone number from the clerk and remind me about the so-called 'online registration'... it was like spoke of the devil thingy and of course there popped the devil! hahaha... anyway... the good news is... i'm not a devil... i am only an infamous trouble-maker as one of the academicians greeted me... "the trouble-maker has come back," he said... and i said, "horraayyy! someone has spotted one of my astrological traits... hehehe... blewp...
to coming back to the original point... yeah! please blame my silence and ignorance... i was not aware that my supervisor has been promoted as a 'timbalan dekan' and his room is now at the general office... okay... okay... my fault! anyway... we had quite an awkward conversation... maybe my guilt was at its highest notch and at the same time i tried to 'control macho' and 'control slamba'... of course some sarcastic remarks and gauntlets were thrown at me... i am his history... i am the first one... and of course i am honoured to be the one... said i... hmmm... did i cry? why must i... i smiled... i was not intimidated... i am rumput sanchai! i've decided to come out from the cave... to break the thick skin of self-abnegation... to be the real ultimate mummy again... thus... nothing could dissuade me... nothing could dampen my existing chaiyok spirit! nothing! chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok!
after the breathtaking meeting... we went to astaka gelugoq... dila's request because she really liked the ais kacang over there... i only had two bowls of iced lei chee kang and my laksa was left untouched... my appetite was silently sipped by the hot afternoon penang air and also by some technical problems that dila and me encountered which urgently needed to be solved so that everything would run as scheduled... we pondered... we listed down some plans... we called friends for advice... and we cast our glances far away as if the solution would come out from somewhere... nil... tired... we went to look for my coordinator to get the registration form but he was not around... we decided to make it a day and arrived at my long left apartment around five thirty in the evening... i was really looking forward to meet siti... gave her a hug... and exchanged news... normally she would be back around maghrib yet she was no where around... i tried to get her on her phone but there was no answer... oh dear... i found her medical letter stating that she had something that my sister had gone through previously... it was already late... we decided to look for her the next day at the hospital... i felt so foolish and sad blaming myself repeatedly for not being there during the time she was in pain... the worst was for not even asked about her health and well-being as frequent as i could... bummer! i am such a moron!
the night was getting late... i slept at 12.30 and woke up around 3.15 in the morning... as usual... unfortunately my phone line was disconnected else i would have the pleasure of getting online and thrashing stuffs out to you awang kenit... thus... the waking hour was spent by sketching plans and more plans... doing the laundry... and rearranging the room...
Friday, June the Sixth 2003
chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok! i hollered at dila's ears to wake her up at 6 a.m. and be ready for the day... hahaha... a big echoed holler resulting from both jealousy and excitement... really... she really slept soundly like a baby... memang sungguh menjeleskan... hahaha... chaiyok! i dragged her to the university's conference hall at 8.30 in the morning to listen to an enlightening talk "Multiculturism and the Writer's Perspective" delivered by Prof. Bharati Mukherji from University of California Berkeley... it has been quite sometime since the last literature input and i found the talk was excellent and deep... caressing my literary senses and waking them up from the unrestful slumber... thank you my dear supervisor for inviting me to the talk... anyway... hahaha... dila almost felt asleep... hahaha... maybe accountancy and literature can't really make an ideal pair... hehehe... kesian dila... after the talk ended we joined a group of mat sallehs during refreshment and delightfully exchanged stories about malaysia... they were very friendly indeed and cheerfully introducing themselves to us... unlike... some of my friends who didn't even invited dila and me to sit with them at their table... huh! do they even deserve to be called as friends?
around 11.30... i went to get my registration form from the course coordinator and met marina... my closest coursemate... we are in the same boat... we are in the midst of our thesis writing... most of my other coursemates are still attending and repeating the courses... yup! until now i am not really sure and can't figure out or understand why the courses are that tough to pass... is it because of our own limited capacity having not so much brain as our lecturers do? or is it because the lecturers just want to make our life a living hell? hehehe... i don't know... i really don't know... and that's the 'beauty' of doing a postgraduate study... hmmm... alhamdulillah i passed all the courses without repeating any... opppsss... but the thesis writing... dila said that i didn't fail the paper as a fail should be i.e. after a long a laborious effort but i failed the paper because i wanted to fail myself, experience what does it feel to fail, meditate, recover and bounce back from the mistakes... and furthermore there were some other reasons why i had to fail... fuyyoo... i didn't say this... it was dila's... hmmm... iyea ke? hehehe...
we had a lunch date with sara at the red house... it was a hectic registration day and we didn't want to go out far from the university for lunch and ghonjeng... sara then treated us baskin robins ice-cream to lift up my spirit and as a medical dosage for my new gotten migraine... erk... ice-cream? migraine? hahaha... oh yeah... how did i get that sudden migraine? before meeting sara, i dropped by at my supervisor's place to submit my research plan... my chaiyok spirit was soaring high and without further thinking my big mouth blurted out that i was interested to participate in an international conference organised by him sometime in august... my original intention and mindset was only as a participant who would listen and take notes... but... he said he wanted to give a bit of pressure and asked a.k.a paksa rela me to present a paper together with him... zappp... that bloody migraine hit me... really bloody because the banging in my head ceased to subside not until sunday... a bit pressure? seemed galloons of it... erk... anyway... i am rumput sanchai... chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok! gambate kudasai!
3.30... the so called 'online registration'... i got 888 out of 1,000... my turn number... the number that was needed to queue and get 'inline' to pay for the bills and register for the paper... hahaha... dila was luckier... she would also have to register on that same day but her university's concept of 'online registration' was getting an internet connection or going to the cybercafe, clicked at the registration site and registered the courses there... just from the comfort of your home... really efficient and techno savvy... unlike some people... me... anyway... out of an acquaintance's courtesy... she gave me her number... 596 and with that number i finished my registration around 6 something... huh! just imagine what if i had to use my original number the 888... my other coursemates got 900 something... i wondered when did they finish their 'online registration'... i don't want to make any comments but i really wish to say this, "hey dude! haven't you heard about online banking or credit card convenience?" hmmm...
i got the chance to watch juana... yesh! after maghrib around nine we went to the hospital to visit siti... my guess was right... she was indeed being admitted... ouch! guilt swept all over me once more when i received her sms earlier telling me about it which confirmed my guess about her wherebeing... though the visiting hour was over we were allowed to visit her for a short while... oh dear... there she was looking a bit frail... we exchanged news and stories about our well-being and i was constraining myself from dropping my pearls when hearing her tragic experience... i really wish that she will get well soon... may Allah bless her and give her all the strength and patience to endure the hardship of life... her act of kindness for still letting me to further stay at her house really made me hard to suppress my touched emotions... thank you siti and i will surely repay back what i owe you... get well soon dear! :-)
that late night dila cooked us mamee... hahaha... such a nutritional dinner... then i slept at around 12.30 and woke up at 3.15 a.m.... i continued to rearrange and clean the room... only at around 8.30 in the morning did i finish the task... hahaha... a new semester = a new outlook... semester vs. ovester (legally blonde)... the new semester has arrived and the 'next sem' plans must be realised... chaiyok!
Saturday, June the Seventh 2003
jalan-jalan negeri perak... we left the island around 11 and headed to jawi exit to go to parit buntaq... we wanted to drop by at kak su's house and pay her and the newborn baby a visit at kampung setar... the place was mesmerising... yellowish paddy fields were ready to be cut and processed... dancing gleefully amidst the soft gush of wind... standing humbly under the sun... those paddies are bowing in grace waiting to serve mankind... ahhh... peaceful indeed...
abang khahar, kak su's parents were not around... they were in perlis... we stayed until 1.30 p.m. and after series of relinquishing our thirst and emptying our bladder... hehehe... we decided to continue our journey down to kuala kangsar using the old route or jalan dalam... we passed through bagan serai, sungai kepar, selinsing, kampung dew (fuyyoo! omputih tuuu... according to opah my great ancestor cycled his bicycle from kuala kangsar to kampung dew just to get two kilos of rice during the japanese occupancy), kamunting, changkat jering, simpang halt, jelutong, bukit gantang, kampung pauh, padang rengas and finally arrived at kuala kangsar... we bought hot banana fritters and cucor udang infront of kota lama mosque and zrasss... to opah's house... after the afternoon tea around 5 p.m... as the banging in my head was getting louder and uncontrollable i was definitely and totally knocked out... pengsan koma tahap cipan kaki lapan... woke up at 8.30 for half an hour to bathe and eat dinner... then continued sleeping at 10 until 8.30 in the morning... fuyyooo... i really felt like einstein and hua zhe lei... kah... kah... kah...
Sunday, June the Eighth 2003
alhamdulillah... the almost 15 hours of sleep had enabled me to feel better... no more banging in the head... no more the dreadful lethargic feelings... and of course... i was ready to hit the road again... dila had to register for her hostel... it was 11.30 a.m. and there were so many vehicles on the highway... then i realised and remembered that the school holidays and the long semester break were over... people were rushing home to get back into business... i drove extra careful and only stopped for awhile at r&r tapah to buy my favourite vadee... lucky me... i managed to get the last four pieces... nyum... nyum...
gombak ooo gombak at around 2 p.m. and dila registered for her room... yeah right... level four again! pish... posh... pish... posh... i helped her cleaning up the room from 3 p.m. until 10 p.m... this was the first time she had to clean up her new room this hard... obviously the previous owner of the room was not a responsible and clean person... the fan was black and thick with dusts, ankabut webs were hanging loose here and there, the windows were absolute mess, there were garbage under the bed, on top of the cupboard and book shelves, the walls were tainted with remaining tapes and ugly patches of posters... iurghhh... yukky indeed... dila never got a room as messy as this... this was the worst ever... it makes me wonder what kind of girl living in this room before and my truest sympathy to the person who is going to marry this girl... i pray and hope that she would change her attitude :-|
Monday, June the Nineth 2003
11.01 p.m.
i am still at dila's place to spend another night here... my original plan was to go to ampang and spend the night at opah an's house, to do a bit of laundry over there and thus to get online and copy and paste this offline entry into the forehead of awang kenit... hehehe... however... fortunately/unfortunately dila is now at the field having a demo training and i do feel too tired to climb down the stairs... heheh... thus... here i am in her yet to be decorated room editing my offline entry while listening to f4's... muahs... muahs... hehehe...
this entry might be the most significant ever for me... what i've gone through these past few days really set as a promising tunnel towards an opening... the lights that may shorten the length of this ever roaming and walking shadows... the ultimate exit that i've been searching all these years...
today... my whole morning was spent at the library registrating myself as a member and doing some readings... i guess i need to get rid of this library phobic thingy... hahaha... so, membership of any other libraries? heheh... let me see... perhaps nu, mu, mmu, unitar... soon...
okie dokie... i feel abit drowsy after eating bakso... errr... let me lay down for a while and wait for dila to come back... her three other new roommates are nowhere to be seen... two juniors from human sciences and one international student... hahaha... speaking london sokmo la dak dila... hahaha...
okeh... i'll stop the rambles now...
CHAIYOK mummy CHAIYOK!
full stop.
Thursday, June the Fifth 2003
as early as ten in the morning we were already on our way to the island... yup! though i hardly slept during the night, i felt refreshed and rejuvenated... hahaha... such dramatic words... hahaha... actually... inside my tummy there were sooo many butterflies fluttering wildly... overwhelmed by what would i encounter ahead... unpredictable... and i wished that i wouldn't have to listen to things that could dishearten my chaiyok and soaring spirit... but i knew... whatever it was... i would never retreat from the battle... this battle... i must win! i must win!
around noon... i managed to meet the officer in-charged and asked her things to clear all my doubts and confusions... alhamdulillah... she assured me that i would be okay and fine and even gave me great advice that was immediately churned as an additional boost to my presently motivated self... hmmm... it is really nice to know that someone really understands what i've gone through all these past gloomy days... feeling recharged, i went to sara's office to say hi and perhaps to take lunch together... but she was not around... i was thinking to meet my supervisor sometime in the afternoon but without sara around, i changed my plan and tried to take a peek whether he was in his room or he had already gone out for lunch... yup! 'luck' was with me... as i went through the general office entrance to go to his room... there he was... standing beside his clerk and was about to get my phone number from the clerk and remind me about the so-called 'online registration'... it was like spoke of the devil thingy and of course there popped the devil! hahaha... anyway... the good news is... i'm not a devil... i am only an infamous trouble-maker as one of the academicians greeted me... "the trouble-maker has come back," he said... and i said, "horraayyy! someone has spotted one of my astrological traits... hehehe... blewp...
to coming back to the original point... yeah! please blame my silence and ignorance... i was not aware that my supervisor has been promoted as a 'timbalan dekan' and his room is now at the general office... okay... okay... my fault! anyway... we had quite an awkward conversation... maybe my guilt was at its highest notch and at the same time i tried to 'control macho' and 'control slamba'... of course some sarcastic remarks and gauntlets were thrown at me... i am his history... i am the first one... and of course i am honoured to be the one... said i... hmmm... did i cry? why must i... i smiled... i was not intimidated... i am rumput sanchai! i've decided to come out from the cave... to break the thick skin of self-abnegation... to be the real ultimate mummy again... thus... nothing could dissuade me... nothing could dampen my existing chaiyok spirit! nothing! chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok!
after the breathtaking meeting... we went to astaka gelugoq... dila's request because she really liked the ais kacang over there... i only had two bowls of iced lei chee kang and my laksa was left untouched... my appetite was silently sipped by the hot afternoon penang air and also by some technical problems that dila and me encountered which urgently needed to be solved so that everything would run as scheduled... we pondered... we listed down some plans... we called friends for advice... and we cast our glances far away as if the solution would come out from somewhere... nil... tired... we went to look for my coordinator to get the registration form but he was not around... we decided to make it a day and arrived at my long left apartment around five thirty in the evening... i was really looking forward to meet siti... gave her a hug... and exchanged news... normally she would be back around maghrib yet she was no where around... i tried to get her on her phone but there was no answer... oh dear... i found her medical letter stating that she had something that my sister had gone through previously... it was already late... we decided to look for her the next day at the hospital... i felt so foolish and sad blaming myself repeatedly for not being there during the time she was in pain... the worst was for not even asked about her health and well-being as frequent as i could... bummer! i am such a moron!
the night was getting late... i slept at 12.30 and woke up around 3.15 in the morning... as usual... unfortunately my phone line was disconnected else i would have the pleasure of getting online and thrashing stuffs out to you awang kenit... thus... the waking hour was spent by sketching plans and more plans... doing the laundry... and rearranging the room...
Friday, June the Sixth 2003
chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok! i hollered at dila's ears to wake her up at 6 a.m. and be ready for the day... hahaha... a big echoed holler resulting from both jealousy and excitement... really... she really slept soundly like a baby... memang sungguh menjeleskan... hahaha... chaiyok! i dragged her to the university's conference hall at 8.30 in the morning to listen to an enlightening talk "Multiculturism and the Writer's Perspective" delivered by Prof. Bharati Mukherji from University of California Berkeley... it has been quite sometime since the last literature input and i found the talk was excellent and deep... caressing my literary senses and waking them up from the unrestful slumber... thank you my dear supervisor for inviting me to the talk... anyway... hahaha... dila almost felt asleep... hahaha... maybe accountancy and literature can't really make an ideal pair... hehehe... kesian dila... after the talk ended we joined a group of mat sallehs during refreshment and delightfully exchanged stories about malaysia... they were very friendly indeed and cheerfully introducing themselves to us... unlike... some of my friends who didn't even invited dila and me to sit with them at their table... huh! do they even deserve to be called as friends?
around 11.30... i went to get my registration form from the course coordinator and met marina... my closest coursemate... we are in the same boat... we are in the midst of our thesis writing... most of my other coursemates are still attending and repeating the courses... yup! until now i am not really sure and can't figure out or understand why the courses are that tough to pass... is it because of our own limited capacity having not so much brain as our lecturers do? or is it because the lecturers just want to make our life a living hell? hehehe... i don't know... i really don't know... and that's the 'beauty' of doing a postgraduate study... hmmm... alhamdulillah i passed all the courses without repeating any... opppsss... but the thesis writing... dila said that i didn't fail the paper as a fail should be i.e. after a long a laborious effort but i failed the paper because i wanted to fail myself, experience what does it feel to fail, meditate, recover and bounce back from the mistakes... and furthermore there were some other reasons why i had to fail... fuyyoo... i didn't say this... it was dila's... hmmm... iyea ke? hehehe...
we had a lunch date with sara at the red house... it was a hectic registration day and we didn't want to go out far from the university for lunch and ghonjeng... sara then treated us baskin robins ice-cream to lift up my spirit and as a medical dosage for my new gotten migraine... erk... ice-cream? migraine? hahaha... oh yeah... how did i get that sudden migraine? before meeting sara, i dropped by at my supervisor's place to submit my research plan... my chaiyok spirit was soaring high and without further thinking my big mouth blurted out that i was interested to participate in an international conference organised by him sometime in august... my original intention and mindset was only as a participant who would listen and take notes... but... he said he wanted to give a bit of pressure and asked a.k.a paksa rela me to present a paper together with him... zappp... that bloody migraine hit me... really bloody because the banging in my head ceased to subside not until sunday... a bit pressure? seemed galloons of it... erk... anyway... i am rumput sanchai... chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok! gambate kudasai!
3.30... the so called 'online registration'... i got 888 out of 1,000... my turn number... the number that was needed to queue and get 'inline' to pay for the bills and register for the paper... hahaha... dila was luckier... she would also have to register on that same day but her university's concept of 'online registration' was getting an internet connection or going to the cybercafe, clicked at the registration site and registered the courses there... just from the comfort of your home... really efficient and techno savvy... unlike some people... me... anyway... out of an acquaintance's courtesy... she gave me her number... 596 and with that number i finished my registration around 6 something... huh! just imagine what if i had to use my original number the 888... my other coursemates got 900 something... i wondered when did they finish their 'online registration'... i don't want to make any comments but i really wish to say this, "hey dude! haven't you heard about online banking or credit card convenience?" hmmm...
i got the chance to watch juana... yesh! after maghrib around nine we went to the hospital to visit siti... my guess was right... she was indeed being admitted... ouch! guilt swept all over me once more when i received her sms earlier telling me about it which confirmed my guess about her wherebeing... though the visiting hour was over we were allowed to visit her for a short while... oh dear... there she was looking a bit frail... we exchanged news and stories about our well-being and i was constraining myself from dropping my pearls when hearing her tragic experience... i really wish that she will get well soon... may Allah bless her and give her all the strength and patience to endure the hardship of life... her act of kindness for still letting me to further stay at her house really made me hard to suppress my touched emotions... thank you siti and i will surely repay back what i owe you... get well soon dear! :-)
that late night dila cooked us mamee... hahaha... such a nutritional dinner... then i slept at around 12.30 and woke up at 3.15 a.m.... i continued to rearrange and clean the room... only at around 8.30 in the morning did i finish the task... hahaha... a new semester = a new outlook... semester vs. ovester (legally blonde)... the new semester has arrived and the 'next sem' plans must be realised... chaiyok!
Saturday, June the Seventh 2003
jalan-jalan negeri perak... we left the island around 11 and headed to jawi exit to go to parit buntaq... we wanted to drop by at kak su's house and pay her and the newborn baby a visit at kampung setar... the place was mesmerising... yellowish paddy fields were ready to be cut and processed... dancing gleefully amidst the soft gush of wind... standing humbly under the sun... those paddies are bowing in grace waiting to serve mankind... ahhh... peaceful indeed...
abang khahar, kak su's parents were not around... they were in perlis... we stayed until 1.30 p.m. and after series of relinquishing our thirst and emptying our bladder... hehehe... we decided to continue our journey down to kuala kangsar using the old route or jalan dalam... we passed through bagan serai, sungai kepar, selinsing, kampung dew (fuyyoo! omputih tuuu... according to opah my great ancestor cycled his bicycle from kuala kangsar to kampung dew just to get two kilos of rice during the japanese occupancy), kamunting, changkat jering, simpang halt, jelutong, bukit gantang, kampung pauh, padang rengas and finally arrived at kuala kangsar... we bought hot banana fritters and cucor udang infront of kota lama mosque and zrasss... to opah's house... after the afternoon tea around 5 p.m... as the banging in my head was getting louder and uncontrollable i was definitely and totally knocked out... pengsan koma tahap cipan kaki lapan... woke up at 8.30 for half an hour to bathe and eat dinner... then continued sleeping at 10 until 8.30 in the morning... fuyyooo... i really felt like einstein and hua zhe lei... kah... kah... kah...
Sunday, June the Eighth 2003
alhamdulillah... the almost 15 hours of sleep had enabled me to feel better... no more banging in the head... no more the dreadful lethargic feelings... and of course... i was ready to hit the road again... dila had to register for her hostel... it was 11.30 a.m. and there were so many vehicles on the highway... then i realised and remembered that the school holidays and the long semester break were over... people were rushing home to get back into business... i drove extra careful and only stopped for awhile at r&r tapah to buy my favourite vadee... lucky me... i managed to get the last four pieces... nyum... nyum...
gombak ooo gombak at around 2 p.m. and dila registered for her room... yeah right... level four again! pish... posh... pish... posh... i helped her cleaning up the room from 3 p.m. until 10 p.m... this was the first time she had to clean up her new room this hard... obviously the previous owner of the room was not a responsible and clean person... the fan was black and thick with dusts, ankabut webs were hanging loose here and there, the windows were absolute mess, there were garbage under the bed, on top of the cupboard and book shelves, the walls were tainted with remaining tapes and ugly patches of posters... iurghhh... yukky indeed... dila never got a room as messy as this... this was the worst ever... it makes me wonder what kind of girl living in this room before and my truest sympathy to the person who is going to marry this girl... i pray and hope that she would change her attitude :-|
Monday, June the Nineth 2003
11.01 p.m.
i am still at dila's place to spend another night here... my original plan was to go to ampang and spend the night at opah an's house, to do a bit of laundry over there and thus to get online and copy and paste this offline entry into the forehead of awang kenit... hehehe... however... fortunately/unfortunately dila is now at the field having a demo training and i do feel too tired to climb down the stairs... heheh... thus... here i am in her yet to be decorated room editing my offline entry while listening to f4's... muahs... muahs... hehehe...
this entry might be the most significant ever for me... what i've gone through these past few days really set as a promising tunnel towards an opening... the lights that may shorten the length of this ever roaming and walking shadows... the ultimate exit that i've been searching all these years...
today... my whole morning was spent at the library registrating myself as a member and doing some readings... i guess i need to get rid of this library phobic thingy... hahaha... so, membership of any other libraries? heheh... let me see... perhaps nu, mu, mmu, unitar... soon...
okie dokie... i feel abit drowsy after eating bakso... errr... let me lay down for a while and wait for dila to come back... her three other new roommates are nowhere to be seen... two juniors from human sciences and one international student... hahaha... speaking london sokmo la dak dila... hahaha...
okeh... i'll stop the rambles now...
CHAIYOK mummy CHAIYOK!
full stop.
Monday, June 09, 2003
hahahaha...
i am an official member and user of international islamic university library... sedang menggunakan komputer library ini untuk tujuan memblog... yippie! anyway... aku saje aje drop in sekejap di dalam ini blog untuk melepaskan gian... kekeke... lupa pulak aku nak bawak offline entry aku... tak apa... malam nanti aku pastekan di sini... pergghhh... episod perjalananku ke utara kali ini memang sangat memorable... okie tokie... got to go... tata... titi... tutu... :-)
i am an official member and user of international islamic university library... sedang menggunakan komputer library ini untuk tujuan memblog... yippie! anyway... aku saje aje drop in sekejap di dalam ini blog untuk melepaskan gian... kekeke... lupa pulak aku nak bawak offline entry aku... tak apa... malam nanti aku pastekan di sini... pergghhh... episod perjalananku ke utara kali ini memang sangat memorable... okie tokie... got to go... tata... titi... tutu... :-)
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
adeis...
huarrrghhh... sungguh letih... sungguh mengantuks...
punya la lemau badan ni... manja sangat asyik dok berkurung ajek di dalam rumah tuh... maka hari ni... perjalanan 'biasa' dari melaka ke kuala kangsar pun terasa amat-amat meletihkan... lembik sungguh... sengal-sengal satu badan tuhhh... pada asalnya aku ingat nak direct terus ke pulau mutiara malam ni... plan was cancelled... terpaksa transit untuk cas tenaga di rumah opah... hehehe... terperanjat opah tengok cucu-cucu dia datang dengan tiba-tiba tanpa siren... tanpa segan silu... tanpa tak gheti-gheti nak tepon dahulu ke... hehehe...
ermmm... pagi tadi seawal jam 3.15 pagi aku dah bangun dari tidur yang kurang nyenyak... orang tidur aku dok ngemas baju la... ngemas almari la... ngemas bilik la... tau-tau dah subuh dan sempat pulak aku beronline sekejap sebelum membuli alfonso membasuh maniobi... thanks alf! muahhssss... apa? upah tiga puluh ringgit... har... har... har... nanti aku korek tabung kejap... eh... tak ada la... tapi tiga puluh sen ada la... kekeke...
haahnyer... aku dah teruja nak keluar awal dari rumah tu dalam pukul 9 pagi... blakang... kereta pulak tiba-tiba tak mau setat... lerrr... si alf ni basuh tak ikhlas ke sampai maniobi majuk... hehehe... panik seh... panik... madang ajek... bila nak travel north ajek kereta meragam... bila nak travel north ajek kereta majuk... hmmm... is this somekind of a sign? hmmm... ayah baru saja semalamnya ganti minyak hitam dan spark plug... musykil sungguh... maka... terpaksalah adik ipar aku tolong panggilkan ah pop our vehicle doctor... huh... bateri kong rupa-rupanya... lerrr... alhamdulillah aku masih di rumah lagi... masih belum memulakan perjalanan yang jauh... dan... masih stinky walla belum mandi... hehehe...
alas! jam dua belas lebih baru aku berjaya mengucapkan babai kat alf yang kelihatan sedikit syahdu... lerrr... macam le aku nak pergi lama bebenor... aku pun syahdu la tak jugak... keh... keh... keh... namun! perjalanan kami telah dipintas oleh dua makhluk yang memang terer dalam hal ehwal tipu daya pujuk rayu... ceh... kengkawan dila la punya pasal ni... maka aku pun telah termakan dengan bujuk rayu mereka dan menyinggahkan diri di karnival rakan wajadiri jumpa members di sana... perghhh... meriah sungguh tahun ni rupa-rupanya... lebih meriah dari yang di kuantan tahun lepas... tahun depan pula akan dibuat di sarawak pula... yea... yea... kena kumpul duit ni... yea... yea... anyway... aku, dila dan kengkawan kami telah sempat pergi makan-makan sebentar di jaya jusco dan kemudian setelah menghantar mereka semula ke dewan karnival... barulah aku dan dila berjaya memandu terpoten-poten di lebuhraya utara selatan tu... berhenti di beberapa r&r untuk empty bladder serta meregangkan segala urat saraf yang terpelecot... huh... memang aku veggie terbabas-babas... ngantuks gila sebab dah la tidur malam tak nyenyak kemudian bangun pun terextra awal pagi... erk... tuh kira masih insomnia ke? hmmm... tu yang penat tuh... kemudian sempat la pulak pergi bersosial dahulu sebelum travel... tapi... no regret... aku memang puas hati gilerrr menjengah ke karnival tuh... dapat jumpa ramai members yang aku rindui dan yang merindui aku... hehehe... sempat buat satu aktiviti mini sembang-sembang dan bersosial... hehehe... best... best... cuma tak berjumpa dengan mak dan ayah siti afrina dan ahmad ibrahim ajek... uhuhuhu...
titik pentingnya... perjalanan jauh kami akhirnya bermula pada jam 3 petang... ayah pun ada tepon beberapa kali bertanyakan dimanakah lokasi kami... tensi ayah bila dengar kami masih berada di ayer keroh jumpa members at that kind of hour which we were supposed to be somewhere around kuala lumpur or perak area... ampunnn... itsokay... ayah cool... he trusts me... only a bit worried tentang anak-anak dara dia yang adventurous ni... hehehe...
hujan lebat di sepanjang area dari rawang hingga ke tapah... aku memang dari melaka hanya maintain 80/90 mph ajek... layan blues... layan pemandangan indah ciptaanNya... haahnyer... disebabkan kesiputan yang melampau tuh... maka aku sampai di rumah opah jam 8 malam... yup! 8 malam... sedih tul... aku terlepas tengok juana hari ni... rasa nak nangis ni... huuuu... huuu... huuu... sob... sob...
okeh... aku dah tak larat dah nak teruskan mengomel... aku pentan... eh silap... aku penat... sedih... stinky... dan rasa nak pengsan ni... juana oh juana!
p/s: titik penting... hang on tough sis! you can do it! there must be some wisdoms behind it... chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok!
huarrrghhh... sungguh letih... sungguh mengantuks...
punya la lemau badan ni... manja sangat asyik dok berkurung ajek di dalam rumah tuh... maka hari ni... perjalanan 'biasa' dari melaka ke kuala kangsar pun terasa amat-amat meletihkan... lembik sungguh... sengal-sengal satu badan tuhhh... pada asalnya aku ingat nak direct terus ke pulau mutiara malam ni... plan was cancelled... terpaksa transit untuk cas tenaga di rumah opah... hehehe... terperanjat opah tengok cucu-cucu dia datang dengan tiba-tiba tanpa siren... tanpa segan silu... tanpa tak gheti-gheti nak tepon dahulu ke... hehehe...
ermmm... pagi tadi seawal jam 3.15 pagi aku dah bangun dari tidur yang kurang nyenyak... orang tidur aku dok ngemas baju la... ngemas almari la... ngemas bilik la... tau-tau dah subuh dan sempat pulak aku beronline sekejap sebelum membuli alfonso membasuh maniobi... thanks alf! muahhssss... apa? upah tiga puluh ringgit... har... har... har... nanti aku korek tabung kejap... eh... tak ada la... tapi tiga puluh sen ada la... kekeke...
haahnyer... aku dah teruja nak keluar awal dari rumah tu dalam pukul 9 pagi... blakang... kereta pulak tiba-tiba tak mau setat... lerrr... si alf ni basuh tak ikhlas ke sampai maniobi majuk... hehehe... panik seh... panik... madang ajek... bila nak travel north ajek kereta meragam... bila nak travel north ajek kereta majuk... hmmm... is this somekind of a sign? hmmm... ayah baru saja semalamnya ganti minyak hitam dan spark plug... musykil sungguh... maka... terpaksalah adik ipar aku tolong panggilkan ah pop our vehicle doctor... huh... bateri kong rupa-rupanya... lerrr... alhamdulillah aku masih di rumah lagi... masih belum memulakan perjalanan yang jauh... dan... masih stinky walla belum mandi... hehehe...
alas! jam dua belas lebih baru aku berjaya mengucapkan babai kat alf yang kelihatan sedikit syahdu... lerrr... macam le aku nak pergi lama bebenor... aku pun syahdu la tak jugak... keh... keh... keh... namun! perjalanan kami telah dipintas oleh dua makhluk yang memang terer dalam hal ehwal tipu daya pujuk rayu... ceh... kengkawan dila la punya pasal ni... maka aku pun telah termakan dengan bujuk rayu mereka dan menyinggahkan diri di karnival rakan wajadiri jumpa members di sana... perghhh... meriah sungguh tahun ni rupa-rupanya... lebih meriah dari yang di kuantan tahun lepas... tahun depan pula akan dibuat di sarawak pula... yea... yea... kena kumpul duit ni... yea... yea... anyway... aku, dila dan kengkawan kami telah sempat pergi makan-makan sebentar di jaya jusco dan kemudian setelah menghantar mereka semula ke dewan karnival... barulah aku dan dila berjaya memandu terpoten-poten di lebuhraya utara selatan tu... berhenti di beberapa r&r untuk empty bladder serta meregangkan segala urat saraf yang terpelecot... huh... memang aku veggie terbabas-babas... ngantuks gila sebab dah la tidur malam tak nyenyak kemudian bangun pun terextra awal pagi... erk... tuh kira masih insomnia ke? hmmm... tu yang penat tuh... kemudian sempat la pulak pergi bersosial dahulu sebelum travel... tapi... no regret... aku memang puas hati gilerrr menjengah ke karnival tuh... dapat jumpa ramai members yang aku rindui dan yang merindui aku... hehehe... sempat buat satu aktiviti mini sembang-sembang dan bersosial... hehehe... best... best... cuma tak berjumpa dengan mak dan ayah siti afrina dan ahmad ibrahim ajek... uhuhuhu...
titik pentingnya... perjalanan jauh kami akhirnya bermula pada jam 3 petang... ayah pun ada tepon beberapa kali bertanyakan dimanakah lokasi kami... tensi ayah bila dengar kami masih berada di ayer keroh jumpa members at that kind of hour which we were supposed to be somewhere around kuala lumpur or perak area... ampunnn... itsokay... ayah cool... he trusts me... only a bit worried tentang anak-anak dara dia yang adventurous ni... hehehe...
hujan lebat di sepanjang area dari rawang hingga ke tapah... aku memang dari melaka hanya maintain 80/90 mph ajek... layan blues... layan pemandangan indah ciptaanNya... haahnyer... disebabkan kesiputan yang melampau tuh... maka aku sampai di rumah opah jam 8 malam... yup! 8 malam... sedih tul... aku terlepas tengok juana hari ni... rasa nak nangis ni... huuuu... huuu... huuu... sob... sob...
okeh... aku dah tak larat dah nak teruskan mengomel... aku pentan... eh silap... aku penat... sedih... stinky... dan rasa nak pengsan ni... juana oh juana!
p/s: titik penting... hang on tough sis! you can do it! there must be some wisdoms behind it... chaiyok! chaiyok! chaiyok!
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
hang tuah, hang jebat, hang kasturi, hang lekir dan hang lekiu tersenyum lebar...
semenjak semalam melaka telah dibanjiri oleh pendekar-pendekar, panglima-panglima, guru-guru, sifoo-sifoo dan insan-insan yang mempunyai gelaran-gelaran yang sewaktu dengannya... sesungguhnya bumi pendekar yang bersejarah ini telah mengalu-alukan kedatangan martial arts exponents dari seluruh tanahair... pada tahun 2003 ini negeri melaka telah dipilih sebagai tuan rumah untuk karnival seni mempertahankan diri rakan wajadiri... tahun lepas kuantan telah memikul tanggungjawab sebagai tuan rumah dan negeri johor telah diumumkan sebagai juara keseluruhan... tahun ini? kita tunggu sahaja dan lihat...
tahun lepas aku dan adik aku telah memandu ke kuantan untuk memeriahkan lagi karnival tersebut... tak participate pun tapi hanya sebagai penyeri majlis dan tukang sorak yang berjaya... hehehe... namun... tahun ini... walaupun sungguh dekat... hanya lebih kurang 40 minit aje ke ayer keroh tu... kami tak dapat nak turut serta untuk bersosial sesama ahli dan menjadi tukang sorak... sungguh tak best... hik... hik... hik... bukannya apa... pagi tadi setelah aku berjaya bangun begitu awal... aku mandi-manda... kemudian masak breakfast (ehem... mak aku pun rasa macam tak purcaya ajek bila aku memasak pagi tadi... masak apa? sardin ajek untuk dicecah dengan roti... hahahaha)... kemudian mengkreatifkan diri membuat wallpaper best dengan adobe dan fotocanvas... kemudian mengagah amira sofea... timang-timang sofea... kemudian kepenatan dan tertidur sampai petang... dan kemudian... huh... terus cancel program aku nak menunjukkan muka kat sebelah mmu tu... hehehe...
ni pun baru balik dari umbai... alhamdulillah... best jugak pekerja gomen dapat bonus tengah tahun ni... hehehe... semoga rezeki angah anak beranak lebih mencurah-curah... aminnn... erk... perut aku... masih meragam sikit-sikit... dan aku bersetuju dengan muring... pertembungan memang boleh merosakkan... analogi... itu pasal la kita orang timur ni tak boleh nak over mix budaya songsang dari barat dalam kehidupan seharian kita... wadusss... boleh jadi rosak binasa... tak sesuaiii... oleh itu kita kena pergi ke tenggara... pergi taiwan jumpa f4... yehaaa! hahaha...
erk... esok aku kena travel up north... balik utara la oooi... balik... balik... uhuk... uhuk... let's see what will happen up there... hmmm... aku pasrah... aku pasrah... aku tak mau pikir... okie dokie... nak cuba try test tidur awal... kena tidur awal supaya esok tak veggie sewaktu memandu... bon voyage! adios!
semenjak semalam melaka telah dibanjiri oleh pendekar-pendekar, panglima-panglima, guru-guru, sifoo-sifoo dan insan-insan yang mempunyai gelaran-gelaran yang sewaktu dengannya... sesungguhnya bumi pendekar yang bersejarah ini telah mengalu-alukan kedatangan martial arts exponents dari seluruh tanahair... pada tahun 2003 ini negeri melaka telah dipilih sebagai tuan rumah untuk karnival seni mempertahankan diri rakan wajadiri... tahun lepas kuantan telah memikul tanggungjawab sebagai tuan rumah dan negeri johor telah diumumkan sebagai juara keseluruhan... tahun ini? kita tunggu sahaja dan lihat...
tahun lepas aku dan adik aku telah memandu ke kuantan untuk memeriahkan lagi karnival tersebut... tak participate pun tapi hanya sebagai penyeri majlis dan tukang sorak yang berjaya... hehehe... namun... tahun ini... walaupun sungguh dekat... hanya lebih kurang 40 minit aje ke ayer keroh tu... kami tak dapat nak turut serta untuk bersosial sesama ahli dan menjadi tukang sorak... sungguh tak best... hik... hik... hik... bukannya apa... pagi tadi setelah aku berjaya bangun begitu awal... aku mandi-manda... kemudian masak breakfast (ehem... mak aku pun rasa macam tak purcaya ajek bila aku memasak pagi tadi... masak apa? sardin ajek untuk dicecah dengan roti... hahahaha)... kemudian mengkreatifkan diri membuat wallpaper best dengan adobe dan fotocanvas... kemudian mengagah amira sofea... timang-timang sofea... kemudian kepenatan dan tertidur sampai petang... dan kemudian... huh... terus cancel program aku nak menunjukkan muka kat sebelah mmu tu... hehehe...
ni pun baru balik dari umbai... alhamdulillah... best jugak pekerja gomen dapat bonus tengah tahun ni... hehehe... semoga rezeki angah anak beranak lebih mencurah-curah... aminnn... erk... perut aku... masih meragam sikit-sikit... dan aku bersetuju dengan muring... pertembungan memang boleh merosakkan... analogi... itu pasal la kita orang timur ni tak boleh nak over mix budaya songsang dari barat dalam kehidupan seharian kita... wadusss... boleh jadi rosak binasa... tak sesuaiii... oleh itu kita kena pergi ke tenggara... pergi taiwan jumpa f4... yehaaa! hahaha...
erk... esok aku kena travel up north... balik utara la oooi... balik... balik... uhuk... uhuk... let's see what will happen up there... hmmm... aku pasrah... aku pasrah... aku tak mau pikir... okie dokie... nak cuba try test tidur awal... kena tidur awal supaya esok tak veggie sewaktu memandu... bon voyage! adios!
yea... yea... pagi sungguh aku bangun hari ni...
aku cuba melawan insomnia aku dan so far... alhamdulillah... boleh pulih jika semangat diperkuatkan lagi... aku cuba tidur jam 12.30 semalam dan sekarang aku sudah jaga... not bad... not bad... hehehe... huk eleh... tapi bangun ni pun sebab perut aku buat ragam... hehehe... semalam aku minum extra dos yogurt drink dan makan mihoon sup dengan cili padi jeruk pawer yang mak buat... apalagi... mencanak-canak... nih saja jek aku online sekejap sementara nak menunggu subuh... erk... alamak! panggilan alam! gtg... ahak... ahak... ahak...
aku cuba melawan insomnia aku dan so far... alhamdulillah... boleh pulih jika semangat diperkuatkan lagi... aku cuba tidur jam 12.30 semalam dan sekarang aku sudah jaga... not bad... not bad... hehehe... huk eleh... tapi bangun ni pun sebab perut aku buat ragam... hehehe... semalam aku minum extra dos yogurt drink dan makan mihoon sup dengan cili padi jeruk pawer yang mak buat... apalagi... mencanak-canak... nih saja jek aku online sekejap sementara nak menunggu subuh... erk... alamak! panggilan alam! gtg... ahak... ahak... ahak...
Sunday, June 01, 2003
sem depan nak kurus... hahahahahahahaha...
aku tergelak... gelak... gelak dan gelak lagi... lerrr... kenapa kena tunggu sem depan? kenapa bukan sekarang? hahahaha... alahai... very the ambitious one but ambitious untuk dimulakan pada sem depan sahaja... erk... apo ko bondo nyo yang aku melalut ni? idak... aku teringat zaman belajar dulu... selalunya kalau aku dan kengkawan aku buat azam atau plan mesti pakai perkataan "sem depan"... sem depan kita tarik ramai lagi ahli persatuan... sem depan kita jalan kaki ajek ke seksyen 14... sem depan kita rajinkan diri masak-masak (mummy! kopek bawang! hehehe)... sem depan kita kurangkan lepak kat the mall... sem depan kita buat lawatan ke rumah opah... sem depan... sem depan... hahaha... semuanya sem depan... heheh...
aku ingat trademark ni hanya ujud zaman batch aku ajek tapi rupa-rupanya adik-adik aku pun tama! aku baru perasan tadi... hahahaha... semuanya sem depan... nak berjimat cermat sem depan... nak aktif sport sem depan... nak fit sem depan... nak jadi kutu book sem depan... nak kurangkan pegang jawatan sem depan... mang aiii... semuanya nak kena dibuat sem depan... alahai... memang sungguh mengingatkan aku pada zaman aku dedulu... zaman sem depan... keh... keh... keh...
apsal aku ni? mabuk ke? haah... mabuk sket... mabuk telur... tadi aku baru lepas membaham makan berbiji-biji telur macam biawak... yehaa... ceh... kuntut busuk aaa malam ni... hahahaha... chahlo... aku nak pergi jumpa song pu you... har... har... har...
cover mummy cover...
aku tergelak... gelak... gelak dan gelak lagi... lerrr... kenapa kena tunggu sem depan? kenapa bukan sekarang? hahahaha... alahai... very the ambitious one but ambitious untuk dimulakan pada sem depan sahaja... erk... apo ko bondo nyo yang aku melalut ni? idak... aku teringat zaman belajar dulu... selalunya kalau aku dan kengkawan aku buat azam atau plan mesti pakai perkataan "sem depan"... sem depan kita tarik ramai lagi ahli persatuan... sem depan kita jalan kaki ajek ke seksyen 14... sem depan kita rajinkan diri masak-masak (mummy! kopek bawang! hehehe)... sem depan kita kurangkan lepak kat the mall... sem depan kita buat lawatan ke rumah opah... sem depan... sem depan... hahaha... semuanya sem depan... heheh...
aku ingat trademark ni hanya ujud zaman batch aku ajek tapi rupa-rupanya adik-adik aku pun tama! aku baru perasan tadi... hahahaha... semuanya sem depan... nak berjimat cermat sem depan... nak aktif sport sem depan... nak fit sem depan... nak jadi kutu book sem depan... nak kurangkan pegang jawatan sem depan... mang aiii... semuanya nak kena dibuat sem depan... alahai... memang sungguh mengingatkan aku pada zaman aku dedulu... zaman sem depan... keh... keh... keh...
apsal aku ni? mabuk ke? haah... mabuk sket... mabuk telur... tadi aku baru lepas membaham makan berbiji-biji telur macam biawak... yehaa... ceh... kuntut busuk aaa malam ni... hahahaha... chahlo... aku nak pergi jumpa song pu you... har... har... har...
cover mummy cover...