Just woke up with banging head, aching body and painful numb feet. I am nearing my death bed. There are lots to do. There are lots yet to be done. There are lots and lots of them.
Anyway, my narration today is not to lament my state of being. I am grateful for being just me. I am grateful for the challenges He set upon me. The question is whether I dare to face these challenges. And, the recent one after the other New Year celebration is the beginning of another chapter in my short-lived life.
--------------
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
The first new year, according to the Hijr Calendar and it fell on the 29th. December 2008. A day with tearful recollections. It has been four years without. Alhamdulillah, each one of us is able to lead a fair life. Though it seems like isolating ourselves from the closest kins, in actual fact we, me myself particularly are/is coping with the trials and tribulations of life which are never easy.
This Muharram, 1430H, it should be the beginning of another journey to be faced with courage and to be contemplated with wisdom in becoming a Melayu Mu’min. May Allah permits.
At the moment, there are chunks of disarray thoughts that I wish to keyboard on this blog. My esteemed Prof. Y said that his students have to learn writing a narrative with concrete concepts. Ideas with substance. Hmmm... I wonder how am I going to do that.
Coming back to Muharram 1430H, this year, alhamdulillah, for the first time it started with a meaningful event. We had an eventful Hari Tenaga Pengajar in IKBN Melaka. Though our honourable Guru was physically not there, yet he was there in strength and spirit. May he recover soon. Amin.
For the first time too, I attended the event as a full participant. It felt quite weird, different and sometimes a bit liberating. The day started when we travelled in convoy to Masjid Tanah. Yeah, a bit peculiar. IKBN Alor Gajah yet it is located in Masjid Tanah. Hmm... so Melaka... hahahaha... After eating loads of cekodok Selandar, happily we drove unhurriedly. In my case, I just drank a cup of hot tea. My tummy was a bit grumpy and that made me a bit grumpy too. If previously, we took almost two hours from Jasin to reach Masjid Tanah, now, it is only 45 minutes. With the new MITC route, I could not even have a prolonged nap. Tragic indeed!
We arrived at 8.15 am and all the AJK Pusat, YDP, SU and Bendahari were already in the meeting. The next following event would be a meeting with all the Penyelia. The event that I must attend would start only at 2.30 pm. We had to be early because Arif and his friends were charged with the responsibility of handling the photography session which started at 9. Talking of how pampered the Tenaga Pengajar are, yeah, we brought the studio to them for free. Iskh iskh iskh...
We hang out at the canteen and also the main hall to fill in time. I proposed sightseeing to Tanjung Bidara beach. Sitots was all stoked about it yet the proposal was not realised due to the photography session and the heaviness of our tunnis to get into the car and drive. Plus, there were too many of us. A convoy? Perhaps no. And there we were socialising with members from all over Malaysia. There were almost 800 Tenaga Pengajar there. I was having marvellous time socialising. Oh ya! That tummy ache? Not totally gone, able to be suppressed. Mind power!
Guilt trap during lunch. We planned to drive out and eat pure asam pedas Melaka at any warungs in Masjid Tanah. However, the head of organising committee detected our intention and asked us to not go. Instead, he prepared a table for us. Aiyaaa... I felt so spoilt and obviously non-deserving of such kind of treatment. Wished to be ordinary just like everyone else, yet, we were caught in our unruly devised plan. Well, as the saying goes, “rezeki jangan ditolak”. I had my lunch with a bit of guilt and also gratefulness to the ever-friendly orang Melaka. Alhamdulillah.
After purging activity at Kak Rozi’s room, feeling fresh and refreshed, we went for our first event, the recitation of Yasin and Tahlil at the musolla. Personally, I was a bit emotional. All the details of four years ago seemed to flash infront of my eyes. Vivid. Just like watching frames after frames of moving slides. May Allah bless her and put her amongst the blessed ones. Emak, you’ll always be my hero!
Immediately after, we had a launching ceremony of Hari Tenaga Pengajar. Abang Maiden did the launching on behalf of the honourable Guru. Abang Olin delivered his piece on the data management. Despite the tranquillity of the place and the smoothness of the programme, there were still some who never fail to create issues and dissatisfactions. I guess regardless of who and what you are, it is a norm to some to condone the basic necessity of humanity and instead, to be an accomplice to satanic deeds is somewhat satisfactory. Highlighting and condemning weaknesses are virtues whereas noting and suggesting ways to overcome weaknesses, politely, seem non-existence. Though this was not a general value, a drop of it could taint the purity of the whole institution. This contamination compound must be eradicated. Another filtration process is yet to be carried out. I really pray that I am not one of the contamination compounds. I wish to be steadfast and to remain as pure as the ionised H2O. To cleanse my heart and my whole being. Observing my own adab and attitude as His servant. My life and my death only for Him.
The whole programme ended at 5.45 pm. The pressing need to answer the call of mother nature had really spoilt the closure of my socialising activity. Whammy! After, Dila and I went to the canteen, again, for a bowl of mee sop. There were some members left, the rest had returned to their far-away lands. A call from home made us realised that it was already 7.15 and we had to hurry back as we were supposed to fetch Angah and the kids and went back straight to KL. Ayah was already a bit restless and angry because he really disliked us driving on the highways at such late hours. Tragic.. huhuuhuhuhu... However, only Angah, the kids and Arif went back that night. Dila and I opted for 5 am the next day. My blurry sights and numb feet including Dila’s weak night vision made us incompetent night drivers.
So, that’s how the first day of 1430H ended. A very sensible beginning.
We arrived KL at 8.25 am, 2 Muharram 1430H & 30 December 2008M. Dila would have a meeting at her school at 9 am and I would have mine at 1 pm. A new part-time job in another university. This time it is in the middle of the town. My body, mind and soul were a bit queasy. It did not feel right. As if things would go against me. I believed this. I believed my instincts and the belief was proven right.
I intended to depart from Gombak to the meeing venue at 11 am. Kak Tim invited me to join her discussion with Prof. Y but I had to decline. I was groggy from the very early morning departure from Jasin plus the disturbing sugar level that I had. I spent time at the resource centre tidying up my translation work. At 11, the drive to Petaling Jaya was not my preference. Kuala Lumpur drivers have become madder than ever. I drove Dila’s car which has huge Ps front and back. But that is not a reason for other drivers to bully me, to hog me as close as possible, to honk at me, to jump into my queue, to cut lines without giving any signals, to be inconsiderate, and to be inhumane. Hello Malaysian drivers who drive recklessly, your intensity of life to drive like F1 drivers on Malaysian roads is not my intensity of life. My intensity of life does not have to do with dying like flattened frogs on the road. Is it my sin to follow the rules and regulations?
I guess, if I were to stay here far longer, instead of dying due to diabetic complications, I would have died due to driving stress or Allah forbids, an accident. On another scale, not only drivers in Kuala Lumpur are getting madder, drivers in Melaka have got the same issue. Or, does this happen everywhere in Malaysia? Has life and to be alive lost its value?
I really had a bad day on roads. Cruel traffic on my way there and even crueller traffic on route back to Gombak. Plus, the burden of having loaded kidneys. The torture was even unbearable. Curse for the locked boxes in the faculty. Yeah, only staff possess the key to that boxes. Quite pathetic huh?
The day was ended with a truly bad incident which I refuse to narrate here. It was so bitter that every single membranes in my psyche seems to revolt against it. As yucky as it could be and it could taint my sane existence as a being. May Allah forgive me for this weak point of mine.
31st. December 2008, a day before the other New Year. A full class day, both morning and afternoon. Luckily, the precious night class was rescheduled to Friday morning. I was still under yesterday’s hang over plus the almost feverish body and the coughing. The day went without any peculiar much ado. However, it was the night that really surprised me. I thought that Malaysia was not going to celebrate New Year. However, I almost woke up from my feverish sleep hearing one after another of explosions. I thought I was in Gaza. Nope, reality bites. I was and am still in Malaysia. Yup! 2009 New Year was celebrated as usual. Enough said. I went back to my aching slumber. Aching in the sense that I was in a truly physical pain. Aching is also in the sense of thinking what would be the fate of those youngsters. Enough said. Just read the newspapers to know what had become of them. A nausea.
------------------------------
I myself don’t feel really good now. Let me stop my narration and gulp down some elixir to reboost my weak self. All the above are just my sickly mucous. Upon release, the body would be free from its toxic compounds. Hence, wellness would be invited into the system. The system would function well. The solid structure then would be restored.
Selamat Menyambut 1430H & Happy New Year 2009M!
May both years bring us a deeper contemplation and a deeper sense of humanity!
No comments:
Post a Comment