I am suppose to spend my holidays quietly. However, this unbearable silence has provoked my mind to wander and ponder. Where? To the realm of Truth? Not yet. If I were to measure it correctly, I am still far away. Have I been there? Have I tasted the sweetness? Or the worst... have I gone astray? Indeed, to walk as a shadow is not a simplistic matter. The form is to be sought and the most important question is "what kind of form?"
There can be many ways to find the right form. Some contemplate in caves. Some travel to far away lands. Some resort to books. Some are involved in charity. Whatever it is the underlying action word is "effort". All start with efforts. Without, one's shadow will remain form-less, life-less and aim-less.
Well... these are just preambles. I have more worrying issue at hand. As I have personally observed, it has become contagious in the society I'm living in generally, and the space that I'm breathing in specifically. Ouh! What is it? Yeah... the subject matter is "calculative behaviour".
The world that we are living in has changed from its very form of selflessness to the form of selfishness, if these words arbitrarily exist. The world is indeed a constructed reality. Who construct this reality? Yeah... the who refers to us. The occupants of the world. It bugs me to see those who are close to me pay due importance on materials than the sense of humanity itself. One is judged as useless if one does not work with somebody i.e. "makan gaji". One is a trouble maker if one seeks financial assistance from his/her closest family members. One is labelled as the scum of the earth if one has not found his/her marriage partner at the age of 30 and above. Why must everything must be measured at the physical level? Is it not substance that we need to highlight in living this temporary world.
Well... my thoughts here might be a clouded one as I am not sure of what I'm thinking at the moment. There are too many things that are bugging me about my reality of life. All the external and internal factors have become contributive for me to be in this kind of thinking mode. I am yet to reorganise my mind and my outlook towards my surrounding.
I have to have more patience. I have to. I just have to.
Insan mulia yang tidak pernah berkira...
Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahman dan RahimNya buat beliau...
Al-Fatihah
2 comments:
eliza... I learnt this from someone important... whenever we are feeling that the world is against us... always to remember that there are people who suffer a more hebat challenges in life. I am at the time of typing having a big test in my life. I will see you tomorrow my dear friend... nothing in this world will satisfy us. You cannot get all that you want.
i have to concur... we just can't get enough and that's the ultimate struggle!
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